#Jasper if you see this post thank you for this you’re so wonderful

[operationslipperypuppet]

King. And might I add; shit.

[cookie-crumblr]

Chubby F! Housewife Reader x M! Yandere OC Jasper

Part 4

Part 1 here!

MINORS DNI!

CW: F!Reader, reader has a vagina, reader referred to as she/her, non-con somno touching, reader has hair(not described just “in face”, pet names for reader(pretty, ), age regression? kinda a little, names called not by ML(bitch, ), TW ED AND WEIGHT MENTIONED NEGATIVELY(ily fellow girlies and NB’s and boys with ED’s please be warned!), just sad kinda vibes, short part(getting back into it sorry luv yas!) ABUSIVE HUSBAND omg sorry i forgot the wholeass theme

(i know i gave us all so many options XD also i deleted the wholeass ending of the last post?? i confused myself lol so sorry ignore the weirdness plz idk why i did that)

Song rec: a lot on ur plate, by Father

“O-oh this? hah, I uh-uhm, fell, haha, yeah, it was really embarrassing, to be honest.” You rub your arm bashfully, hoping he’ll drop it.

Fell.

On your eye?

Sure.

He smiles softly at you, offering silent consolation for whatever you do not wish to admit. Then he steps back and let’s you inside.

Once inside his eccentricly vaporwave home, he leads you to his game room. It’s fully decked out with two multi-monitored setups, and a humungous T.V. The cable management is immaculate-meaning: You don’t see a single one, it’s beautiful even if you aren’t really into this stuff, you can see the care and dedication he’s put into his hobby, just the same as the rest of his house.

“Wow Jasper! This is so cool!! Your place is really awesome! I don’t know if i’ve told you that yet, but i’m obsessed!” You motion towards the room to show off your point.

He glows sheepishly, he’s used to complements on his appearance sure, but on something so personal to him, and by you, of course he’s a little embarrassed. He’s so ecstatic too. “Thanks pretty~”

He starts setting up for a movie, handing you a box stack of thrillers and slashers to choose from, how cute, physical copies! You wonder if these are his faves, or if he just buys dvd’s for every movie he watches.

You pick one toward the middle, it’s old, like really old. Killer Clowns from Outer Space.

“A classic, truly ahead of its time.”

~

You’ve fallen asleep on Jasper’s couch somehow, even after the amount you’ve slept this past week.

You felt so calm near him, so safe and relaxed, you’re gonna feel so bad when you wake up, but for now, this is the best rest you’ve gotten in months.

You poor thing, you were all alone in that sunroom for that week, nobody even messaged you. You must’ve been so bored… And so lonely.

He moves some of your hair gently from your face, his lids heavy as he looks from your peaceful expression, straight to your lips. His slender hand slowly raises to meet your skin, his fingers caress your cheek, and flow down to your lips where he pauses to inspect you.

Your head is lolled uncomfortably to one side and you’re a little slouched, yet he gazes over you fondly.

Pale fingers lightly dance over your more sensitive flesh, as he leans closer to you. With eyes heavily lidded and mouth parted slightly he places his lips to yours.

Your lips purse slightly in your sleep, in reception, as if you’re (in his mind) giving him the green light to continue. His heart races wildly in his chest, like a clydesdale down a stone path, heavily and loud.

“So pretty~” it just slips right out of his throat.

You aren’t stirring much, so he gently, and begrudgingly lays you more comfortably next to him… if it was up to him you’d be in his lap, but he is already too excited for that. You’d wake up in horror, he’s sure.

His hands accidentally brush over your chest, and he stops to check on your face, to make sure you’re still asleep. You are.

He brings his palm back to the center of one of your breasts, and softly lays his hand over it, again checking you. His eyes are heavily lidded as he begins to massage and squeeze, upping the pressure little by little. Slowly he starts to press harder and uses his thumb to brush over your peaked nipple, he runs it over so many times by now your breathing shallower. Every flick of your bud has your body almost jumping in your slumber.

You mumble something, and startle Jasper, he stops, before switching to your other breast, making that feel just as hot as the first. Flicking over that sensitive nipple through the fabric of your top, he stops to pinch them both and watch you take much shallower, and needier breaths. His own breathing is becoming hard to keep quite as your growing excitement is evident to him.

Imagining how wet you must be already has him dizzy, and on his knees in front of you and the couch.

If he goes any further he’ll have to do something more drastic… He can feel it in him, the surmounting hunger making his head feel full of smoke ready to burst out.

“Fuck.” He fixes your top and pulls away to go find a blanket.

Just then, your phone dings eight a message from your husband. Jasper fishes around his own pocket for your clone and checks the message:

“Where the fuck are you Y/N”

Jasper’s eye twitches, as he reads and rereads the message over again.

“mmf… Jas-*Yaawwwn~*per?” You stretch and sit up behind him, he puts away the phone clone, and readjusts his pants in the same motion as he turns to you. His erection twitches with the way you said his name, rubbing painfully against the tightness of his jeans.

“Hey there, pretty~ how did you sleep?” His mind melts again when he sees you, forgetting all about your husband already.

You giggle and your face heats up hearing him call you that so naturally, and in his soothing, breathy voice. Not to mention, after such a hot dream…

You push the heels of your palms sheepishly into your eyes, pretending to wipe them but really just trying to hide the fact that you’re flustered by him. He watches closely with intense interest sparkling in his irises.

“Oh shit!” You exclaim, locking back into reality and you start to frantically look around the couch for your phone, which ended up under your cushy behind.

“You alright?” He asks, worried.

Your heart sinks at the message you’ve awoken to… How can your husband be so… Cruel?

“N-no… I don’t think I am…” Tears well in your eyes.

He shuffles closer getting on his knees before you, and cupping your face.

“Do you want me to fix it?” his voice is so serious it makes your heart thump nervously.

“I don’t know, Jasper…” You aren’t sure what he means. “I can fix it, i’m sure!” You shake your head with determination.

A gentle smile creeps across his face, you have to look away as your heart keeps thumping too hard and too loudly! And he’s just too handsome, does he know what he’s doing to you.

His hand remains cupping the air where your chin once was for a second longingly, before he lets it fall to the couch cushion.

“If you ever need me, just tell me.” He offers.

You nod your head once in understanding, even though you have no idea what he could possibly mean by him ‘fixing it’.

You collect your things and head home. Jasper follows you and walks you to the gate between your yards.

“See ya soon, pretty~”

You turn on your heel bashfully, fuck! why is he so hot and he just keeps calling you that…. Is it so wrong that you don’t ever want him to stop either…?

~

Your husband on the other hand, stands tall and looks in the doorway like a massive father waiting for his troublesome little girl to come home. you feel like a little girl before him too, one that’s broken a rule and about to be punished.

“If you hadn’t been in the sunroom sulking for a week i’d think you’ve cheated on me, stupid selfish bitch. Who was that, thing, at our yard gate?”

Anger boils in you but quickly simmers when you remember he already punched you once. “That’s just our neighbor, his name is Jasper.”

“You’re already buddy buddy with the local freak then. You’re to stop hanging around it effective immediately, Y/N.” Gods he sounds like a father too. Bile builds in your throat and you swallow hard to avoid gagging.

“Yes sir.” It just slipped out naturally, like his commanding tone just awakened your much younger self. You almost gag again, and hold your stomach and mouth.

He sees you practically turning green and gets angry with you, “What the fuck is your problem bitch?” He sets down his crystal glass of scotch, and cracks his left knuckles.

“No-nothing! sorry, i think i ate something bad earlier”

“Speaking of, you should stop eating for a while. You’re embarrassing me now,” He says it so easily, something so atrocious.

“Maybe i will then…” The words fall from your lips dejectedly.

The world is a deep blur as your feet carry you to the bedroom behind Edward. He shoves you in front of him, getting tired of dragging you by your soft arm. You look down at your wrist and see angry skin already forming blues, but you aren’t feeling any pain.

Are you that dissociated? You blink a few times, but you realize you’d rather stay zoned out, and climb into the cold bed.

~

Just curious,

[showfallmediacameracrew]

[This post was made using Showfall Media Text-To-Speech. If you believe there's been an error and would like to end Showfall Media Text-To-Speech, please say 'End transcript'. ]

[ Input registered: Ambient background noise. People laughing and chattering indistinctly, the clinking of glassware, tapping of cutlery, and faint country music. Closer to the mic is the squeaky sound of someone shifting around on a cushioned booth. ]

J: "Don’t sit on my tail, you can touch it if you want, but I swear to fuck don't sit on my tail."

M: “I’m not touching your tail!”

[ Input registered: More uncomfortable scooting. ]

M: “I forgot how much I hated these stupid booth seats. Why do they even sound like that?”

J: "Hell if I know, it's the first time I’ve sat in one. I guess it’s better than most seats, since I can just put my tail on whatever side you're not on, but it feels like it's way more full of air than it looks. Unfortunate."

M: “I know some seats at Showfall that are better than these. Christ. I hate that I even said that.” 

[ Input registered: Jasprix laughing, quiet metal clinking sounds closeby as something taps on the wood of the table ]

J: “It smells better though then most of the food the food person makes. Probably will taste better than anything the food court would have had. Did the person asking for our orders look confused to you when we asked for the options we chose, or is that a normal look servers have when they don’t wear masks?”

M: “I have no idea. I was too busy looking at everything that sounded good. Fuck, I haven’t had a steak in years.”

J: “Well, I guess you’re having multiple different steaks, and whatever that other stuff you ordered was. I can smell all the different cooked meats in here, it’s amazing, though I do sometimes wish I could eat pancakes again. Steak, though, is still the best of the food types, hmmm.”

M: “I could actually cry right now. A whole fucking filet. All I’ve been eating for months is fucking packaged foods and those shitty little nutrient things. I just remembered I ordered salmon, oh my god.”

[ Nonverbal input registered: Abrupt cough. ]

M: “Er, sorry. It’s been a while since I’ve had… well, actual food. It’s getting to me a bit. Fuck.”

J: “I was worried you were about to apologize because you thought I was a fish. It’s fine, what sort of wonderful boyfriend would I be if I didn’t spoil you on whatever you desired for dinner? Especially when I can only agree that those leave much to be desired. Hopefully they won’t mind us bringing some back with us, as I don't see how they could possibly expect us to eat it all at once.”

M: “Mmm, leftovers.”

[ Nonverbal input registered: A quiet chuckle, then a curious noise of interest]

J: “Oh, I believe I spy my house host at the door. Did she take her own advice on dinner places?”

M: “Hm?”

J: “She’s headed for the counter for some reason. Hmm, well, if it comes up, she believes my name is Jasper.”

[ Nonverbal input registered: Scoff. ]

M: “Jasper? Why Jasper? You made yourself sound normal.”

[ Nonverbal input detected: shifting of styrofoam containers in plastic, and footsteps approaching getting louder. ]

R: “HEY! Uh- whoops, sorry- hey!”

J: “Hello Ruth, fancy seeing you here. What are you doing?”

R: “Picking up food for me ‘n Chase, uh. I was going to drag him inside with me but he decided at the last second he ‘couldn’t do it’, so. Pick-up. Also…? Oh, is this-?

[ Nonverbal input detected: Quiet metal clinking and quick shifting of fabric ]

J: “My wonderful human boyfriend, yes. Thank you so much for the suggestion to come here. We’re just waiting on our orders.”

M: “Yeah, we are, um… Hi. I’m Marvin. Nice to meet you. You’re… Ruth, correct?”

R: “You told them about-? Oh, well. You did kind of. Sleep in my bathtub. So I guess it would make sense you- Right. Yes. Hi. Ruth Shirbon, Lostfield Reporter. Uhm. Nice… bowtie…?”

J: “It does make him look yummy doesn’t it? Good thing the food here smells so good, or it’d be tempting, he has that effect sometimes.”

M: “We’re in public, man. Shuttup.”

[ Nonverbal input detected: Tail thumping against booth seat as Jasprix snickers. ]

R: “Uhm. Right. The, uh, whole. Cannibalism thing. That’s…! Anyways! Uh. So what’s that like, uh. Dating a demon? Who is also the demon king? Also how did that… happen?? Exactly???”

J: “He flirted with me, so I agreed to his offer of courtship. It was quite fun to participate in the manner he did it in, as well.”

[Nonverbal input detected: Hastily cleared throat and gasp of air before an alteration of pitch to something lower and quicker.] 

M: “Ilostgaychicken.” 

J: “He also loves chicken a great deal, and he was able to order some on the menu here.”

R: “Oh. Uh. Not… entirely sure how that’s relev… doesn’t matter. I’ll leave you guys to your date. It was nice meeting you, Marvin.”

M: “Oh, um, nice meeting you t-”

[Altered Pitch Registered: slightly more hushed tone, but closer to the recording device]

R: “And if you ever see anything strange around Lostfield, you can contact me… uh… crap, did I leave those cards at home?? Did I spend all that time laminating those and forget to fucking- arghhh. Nevermind. Jasper can tell you where I am if you need me. Anyways, uh. Nice seeing you! Bye!

[ Nonverbal input detected: Footsteps rapidly growing quieter, and the opening and closing of a door as Jasprix snickered. ]

J: “I hope you can see why I told her the name Jasper now. I told her the backstory of my character from when I was an actor. The demon king on a date with his human boyfriend.”

M: “That was… interesting, to say the least. Huh. Odd kid. Not in a bad way, just… Odd.”

J: “I might just invite her on a tour of the mall at some point. I think she’d love to see it, and everything that she theorized being wrong.”

M: “Are you trying to get her masked? Absolutely not. No.”

J: “I mean, alright. But the way she was talking about it the day before, I’m pretty sure they’re going to try something on her own. She stands outside the mall every day, darling, they haven’t been killed yet. She’d probably somehow manage to avoid everything and still believe that demons exist and the robots are somehow aliens.” 

[Nonverbal input detected: Fabric shifting amongst metal clinking together, Jasprix sighing as a hand returned to tapping on the wood.]

J: “Apologies if my doing that hurt your arm, I may have forgotten putting my hand around your back to pull you closer wasn’t possible currently. I did my best to not push when I realized, but I apologize if you didn't appreciate my hand pressed to your back with your own hand.”

[ Nonverbal input registered: Quiet chuckle. ]

M: “‘S fine. Don’t worry about it.”

J: “Hmm. Well, I hope whatever she got here for... Chase is an improvement from the constant yogurt she was feeding him before.”

M: “Fucking yogurt? All day? Gees.”

J: “I think he’s very confused, but oddly committed, to playing an idiot demon. He truly got her to believe that demons didn't eat actual food. It’s a mystery how she can believe literally anything either of us have told her.”

M: “Wow. That’s kind of impressive. In a sad way.”

J: “But an impressively active imagination. They could be a writer if they wanted instead of a reporter. Maybe direct something.”

M: “Something outside of Showfall. Very, very far away from Showfall.”

[ Nonverbal input detected: Surprised laugh. ]

J: “Sure, I’ll refrain from mentioning her abilities to anyone important, just for you Honey Bird. Oh look, people carrying fold out tray things. Maybe those are for us and mean our food is done?”

M: “I see my steak.” 

J: “All the food you ordered and you notice the steak first. Goodness, are you sure you’re not also a carnivore, perhaps you’ve been crossed slightly with an eagle and never noticed?”

M: “If I was I’m very sure I would have noticed if feathers started to sprout out of my ass.”

J: “True enough, I did notice the tail rather quickly myself. You should know, when we’re finished, and have the rest of the food secured, we might have to leave quickly.”

[ Altered Pitch Registered: Low whisper just barely caught by mic. ]

J: “The concept of Dine and Dash is something I’ve heard of and wanted to do, and we do not have money.”

M: “Oh shit, we don’t.”

[ Transcript has been manually ended. Thank you for using Showfall Media Text-To-Speech! Posting... ]

[lumpsbumpsandwhumps]

I can’t post the entire story of jasper and the moth lighthouse story here BUT there were several several lines that i read and reread because they were so 🤌🤌🤌 what’s a good word,,, sensational. they were sensational dude 😎

You’re rly fantastic at writing surroundings and the inner thoughts of your characters. Especially when you were describing Jasper‘s ride on the boat over to the island, it really and truly transported me there. I could feel the mist on my skin, the dread building and building throughout the plot, jesus when jasper was hiding in the house and the moth was looking for him and creeping around because it/he was intelligent enough to do that. Anddd when Jasper used the cane to get behind the dresser WHO HOOO i remember i pulled an all-nighter on a school night to finish it all and i ended up getting sick as hell with like a stomach bug BUT it worth it and i’d do that shit again.

It was the first story of yours that I read on Ao3 and I was elated to find out you also wrote other g/t stories. The community is so so small & your writing was like the shining star of the show for me. bright and dazzling and intoxicating and wonderful.

You’re extremely talented and yeah I just wanted to tell you that!!!

this was very long but i’ll end it with saying thank you for sharing your creations with the world. reading and seeing your art makes me really happy to just be alive and read cool stories :)))) <3

I've been hoarding this ask for like a week because I keep rereading it over and over on the verge of ugly sobbing that someone really thinks that highly of my funky lil writings that they'd take the time to say something so sweet and thoughtful.

I actually went back and reread that fic because I was like "nah it wasn't that great" but honestly? I forgot how much of a fucking blast that whole idea was to write. I mean I obviously must have enjoyed the concept enough to write 42K in less than a week, but it was so fun to go through it again because AHH worldbuilding and g/t my beloveds <3

I really appreciate the effort you put into writing this, it truly does mean a lot to me, especially when one of my biggest gripes with the g/t community was how little most content writers were given their dues. I hope one day I'll get back into the g/t spirit considering I had so many other multi-series jotted down before the soul was sucked out of me...if only so I can give back to sweethearts like you in the community who actually keep the vibe going (:

[cudan2]

The Christmas of Carlisle’s Present

Word Count: 1,140

Summary: After splitting up in 2007 to avoid the attention of the Volturi, the entire Cullen family reunites for Christmas, much to the surprise of Carlisle.

A/N: A very late Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to my Secret Santa @mcbenson25-blog and thank you to @twilight-secret-gift-exchange for arranging this! I wrote this first and then decided to be ambitious and started writing more to make it part of a larger body of work, the rest which will be posted mid to late January. Truly a gift that keeps on giving. Anyways, here's the part that showcases the Cullen family dynamics the most imo. 🎅🎄

Masterlist

2022 – Alpine, New Jersey

Carlisle could sense something was amiss when he drove home from the hospital that evening and smelled gingerbread cookies baking in the oven. He parked his car in its respective place in the garage, wondering if there was a charity function Esme was participating in that had slipped his mind. Although his undead heart ached at the thought of leaving his beloved wife alone on Christmas, Esme insisted he work during the holidays this year, and so marked yet another Christmas spent saving lives.

Becoming physically exhausted was impossible for a vampire, yet holiday season in the hospital always drained Carlisle mentally. He looked forward to sitting in front of the fire with a good book in hand and Esme by his side, but what he wanted most was to spend time with his entire family. Ever since dispersing to avoid the Volturi’s scrutiny following Renesmee’s defense in Forks, it had been increasingly challenging to get everyone back together, and luck had it that none of the kids would be able to make it to their New Jersey home this year. Carlisle figured he would count his blessings and be grateful his family was still alive and not torn to pieces and thrown into a fire by the Volturi.

Carlisle exited his car and inhaled the aroma of cinnamon and nutmeg in the cookies. There was more hidden underneath the layers of the confection though… something his sense of smell sought out, and that was when it hit him. Even shrouded by gingerbread cookies, he could discern the subtle scents of each member of his coven.

His ears focused on filtering out the ambient noise that came with living on a property surrounded by forest on nearly all four sides, homing in on the voices he realized he took for granted the more time apart went by. Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie… he even heard Renesmee’s distinctive heartbeat. Carlisle’s heart swelled. His family was finally whole again.

“Merry Christmas, Carlisle!” everyone shouted when he entered the kitchen. What he didn’t expect was to be tackled by Emmett and Jasper. His sons’ bodies collided with his own, and Carlisle found himself on the floor before he could comprehend what was happening.

“Not in the house!” Esme scolded from behind the island counter, elbow deep in a mixing bowl. Carlisle broke into a grin, now knowing how much he missed his children’s antics. “Honestly,” his wife exasperated, “I let you in for less than a day and you’re already trying to bulldoze the house. C’mon, boys, let’s give Carlisle some space.”

It was his youngest son that gave him a hand when Jasper and Emmett got up. Edward, it’s good to see you again. Edward smiled crookedly, offering a slight nod of wordless acknowledgement that Carlisle translated into meaning with ease. After a century, the two could understand each other with a single glance and nothing more.

Carlisle grasped Edward’s hand and picked himself off the floor only to be attacked by a warm hug. He didn’t need to look down at the mass of bronze ringlets to know it was Renesmee’s arms wrapped around his torso.

“Grandpa! I’ve missed you so much!” Renesmee looked up at him, astounding Carlisle at how much she’s matured since the last time they saw each other a few years prior. My word, has it really been that long? Of course, she physically stopped growing around 2014, but there would always be minute changes to her features that only someone with an acute vampiric vision would be able to notice.

Carlisle hugged her back even harder. “And I have missed my favorite granddaughter as well.”

“Grandpa, I’m your only granddaughter,” Renesmee pointed out, giggling, and pulled away.

“The statement still stands – in fact, I’ve missed you all incredibly. Why did no one tell me everyone would be here tonight? I would have taken the day off otherwise.”

“Because that’s not how surprises work, duh,” Alice said from her place at the kitchen table next to Bella. “You have Rosalie to thank for this, by the way. This was her idea!”

Carlisle looked over to his other daughter, who suddenly took an interest in the dough Esme was kneading.

“I may have said a thing or two about it,” Rosalie remarked offhandedly, but there was no hiding the bashful smile she adorned.

“Well, I appreciate the sentiment, nonetheless. Truly,” Carlisle responded and turned to everyone. “Christmas has not been the same these past years without you all here.”

In the nearly 400 years of existence, Carlisle has never requested anything for Christmas. How could he, when he was always fortunate enough to have a roof over his head and a means of feeding himself? But over the years, the holiday had grown meaning to him. Family became his very own definition of Christmas. Carlisle may not have requested anything this year, but his wish was fulfilled, and he couldn’t have asked for more.

After a long night of catching up and partaking in a Cullen Christmas tradition of hunting and exchanging gifts, Carlisle still found his original plan satisfied by the end – in front of his bedroom fireplace with a book in hand and Esme by his side. Couch cushions had been scattered across the floor to provide comfort, and a thick blanket draped across the couple, enveloping them in a world of their own. In the background, the honeyed melodies of a sonata Edward was playing from afar was heard gliding throughout the house, and a hint of gingerbread could still be detected in the air if one looked for it.

Esme, with a book of her own, nestled deeper into her husband’s chest and the arm around her tightened. “I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time,” she said.

Carlisle put his book down. With the corners of his lips upturning and his eyes sparkling, he leaned his head down and pressed a kiss into the crown of Esme’s head. “Spending Christmas with the kids tonight was most definitely a surprise to say the least, but it’s the type of surprise that will always be happily welcomed.” He heard her hum contently, the soft vibrations of it filling him with warmth. “I do recall, however, you saying they would be in Europe for the holidays though.”

“I may have lied,” Esme admitted sheepishly, putting her book down to the side and adjusting herself to look up at him.

“Oh, is that so, Mrs. Cullen?” At his tone, Esme smirked. Rearranging the blanket, she shifted around until she was straddling her husband. She placed both hands on Carlisle’s shoulders and pushed him back farther against the couch he was already leaning against.

The two of them burst into laughter when they heard the piano playing stop and Edward groan.

Merry Christmas indeed.

XX

Tag List - Please message me if you would like to be added or removed.

Carlisle Cullen

@anxiousgoldengirl @jelly-fishy-babie @mindlessstories

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

Part 1 of ?????

Started writing this fic a while ago and then lost faith in it. Should I continue? Feel bad for not posting much lately so I thought I'd share this. Read on and weigh in.

COME OUT TONIGHT

NO

You don't have to fucking shout?

Said the pot to the kettle?

Oh you grandmother The caps were an accidental by-product of voice-to-text Blame Siri if you're going to blame anyone

You have a Samsung Galaxy S20.

HAD. It got smashed. Worst luck. Listen, come out with me tonight.

Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm tired!

https://www.boots.com/wellness/vitaminsandsupplements/vitamins-supplements-shop-by-ingredient/echinacea

Hah (indifferent)

Just come out with me! Isaac has to go see some godawful student performance of the Antigone in wherever the fuck Chichester is and it's Sirius's flatmate's birthday party so I have to go and I don't know any of his weird mates

You don't HAVE to go.

Have to/want to Semantics

I'm not in a birthday party mood. I'm having a stressful week. My arse has been tense since Tuesday.

I will wade into the deep and massage your arse if I have to, just come It's a swank pad in Belgravia! I bet they'll have all sorts of expensive nibbles!

I read that as expensive nipples.

Those too!

Partying it up with the children of wealthy Tories. Sounds super fun.

Just come out with me, for fuck I'll pick you up at 7 and we can steal their silverware if it's boring as the grave

URGH I'll go but I'm NOT dressing up!

You don't have to dress up!

FINE!

*

take the drawings down please i'm begging you i'm actually begging you

Nah mate

siriusssssssss pleeeeeease

Nah

PLEASE

Nah

PLEASE ffs it's MY birthday!!!! there are going to be PEOPLE there! standing around! AT EYE LEVEL

I don't see what the problem is.

EVERYONE will see what the problem is! they literally will not be able to IGNORE what the problem is!

Sounds like a recipe for lively discussion to me tbh

that is NOT what i want people talking about at my birthday!

If I take them down, I'll have to take all the nails out and that'll leave nail marks all over the walls. It would be unsightly.

MORE UNSIGHTLY THAN YOUR DICK, SIRIUS?

My dick is bewitching.

DIE

*

She walks in expecting to find herself the infiltrator of a Made in Chelsea/Royal Ascot/Henley Regatta netherworld, filled with a gaggle of giggling, SW-postcode socialites wielding suspiciously powder-edged Harrods Amex cards in the place of horses and boats, but that's not what actually greets her on the other side of the lacquered front door.

What greets her is really quite ordinary.

Aside from the naked drawings of Kingsley's mate, which aren't.

Otherwise, the whole affair is pretty relaxed. People her age are clustered in their small groups, swigging beers. There's a table of oven-heated party foods, salty snacks and rapidly depleting ramekins of guac. She spies more band shirts than there are dress shirts. There's a round of Fortnite in full swing on the TV.

It's all just...startlingly normal. A normal birthday party.

And that's sort of embarrassing, really.

Where are all the visible Tory toffs, she wonders? Where is the braying laughter? The Eton alumni reunion? The glimpse of hunting-happy tweed and shotgun barrels as a coat cupboard door swings shut? Where's the indelible air of sneering superiority, of "we're richer and more privileged and better than you, so fuck the NHS and death to foxes!" that she'd been expecting? There's a fucking Henry Hoover in the corner of the hall, for Christ's sake. Lily came here to smile through her teeth at them all, to listen to the champagne problems privilege that bubbled from their lips and tell herself that she was the one who knew better, who thought better. Her plain white tee and skinny jeans and scuff-toed, high-top trainers were supposed to be a statement, a subtle setting-apart, but she's not even the most underdressed person in the room.

She pre-judged a house full of people. What's that about?

There's a lesson to be found in this. Perhaps.

*

James covered all of the dicks in Paw Patrol stickers that he bought from the newsagent on his way home from his mum's, but Sirius peeled them all off while he was taking a soothing lavender bath, so what's the bloody point in birthdays anyway?

It's early in the evening, and he's wedged—against his will—between the dining room bar and Shane Ruttle, who has just pointed at one of the many lamentable dicks and asked, "Is this one of yours?" which James kind of wants to thump him for. It's bad enough that he looks like a madman who stuffed his house with naked drawings of his brother, now people are actually assuming that he drew the damn things, even though most of the compositions are appallingly far beneath his skill level. He's a professional illustrator, for the love of god, and Shane is really standing before him like the posturing prick he is, asking him if he's the one who drew Sirius with one arm disproportionately longer than the other.

He knows that he should cheer up.

It is his birthday. There is cake.

Good cake, too, not the kind that gets buried in too-thick fondant that he has to pick off before he can eat what's underneath.

The problem is, there's also a party, and his friends are his friends, Peter and Sirius included, and Peter and Sirius can both get drunk much faster than James can. When Peter and Sirius get drunk, serious injuries tend to follow, Remus tends to fuck off in a flash and James tends to be the one who calls for an ambulance or mothers them back to health—physical, mental or otherwise. He has just turned twenty-six, and these repeated, drunkenly dramatic medical emergency scenes are starting to wear a little thin.

Can't a man get comfortably drunk and have a laugh at his own birthday party?

No, he can't, because Peter's already halfway to trashed, wobbling unsteadily towards the French doors that lead to the terrace, wearing that look on his face that says I'm definitely going to vomit or maybe even shit myself like I did on that one night we all spent in Munich with the Belgian handball team and the creepy tour guide who couldn't keep his sleazy hands to himself. For the sake of sparing the lawn such a punishment, James hastily removes himself from Shane, grabs Peter by the collar, shoves him in the direction of the downstairs loo and retreats to the safety of the living room, where there are, at least, no naked drawings of Sirius gracing the walls.

Most of the people in here are transfixed by Saffy Stephens, who is down to the last three in her Fortnite game and cursing like a sailor, but there are a small pile of birthday cards on the end table where James and Sirius normally keep their keys. He perches on the sofa arm, sets his half-drunk beer bottle on the carpet, pushes his dark, disheveled hair away from his forehead and begins leafing through them. It's a necessity when one lives with Sirius, who thinks nothing of swiping gift cards when the mood strikes him and he's had enough to drink.

They're mostly from his female friends, and all pretty standard, until he reaches the middle of the pile and finds a card bearing a picture of a moustached tabby and the caption: Have a Purr-fect Birthday!

The inscription inside is written in a lovely, swirling hand.

To Jasper/Jack/Jason/maybe Ja Rule?/J-something idk

(see above: everything I've learned about you from the friend* I came here with, verbatim)

(*who can't remember your name)

Happy Birthday! Thank you for (not) specifically inviting me, a stranger, to your party to celebrate this momentous event in your life. Please enjoy this festive card/social nicety/convention from me to you. My friend brought rum which you may prefer.

I'll be around. Not that you'll know.

LE

James lowers the card and twists on the sofa arm at once, eyes darting around the room in search of its author, as if they might be laying in wait to watch him read it and see how he reacts. Nobody appears to have ducked behind the couch, however, so the situation merits further scrutiny.

Obviously, he needs to meet this person.

A mystery! At his birthday party!

He perks right up after that.

*

She's coming out of the downstairs loo when a short, blonde man in a garish Hawaiian shirt barrels past her and pukes all over the chequerboard tiled floor, narrowly missing her jeans.

"Oh no," he moans into his wet hands. "Oh no—"

"There there, mate," says Lily consolingly, never one to judge somebody for getting drunk early at a party. She pats him on the back before squeezing past him and rejoining Kingsley, who is standing in one of this meandering Georgian house's many hallways, chatting to a bloke in a houndstooth sweater vest and holding two glasses of something very, very sparkly that she must try at once.

"It's like...it's like everything and nothing at the same time," Houndstooth Bloke is saying when Lily draws close, gesturing to a huge canvas painting of a rain-soaked fairground at night.

"Is it?" Kingsley asks.

"Mmm. Very." Houndstooth shakes his shoulders like he's slipping out of a robe. "Meant to be esoteric, I suppose."

That sounds suspiciously like pretentious bullshit to Lily, who doesn't find the concept of a merry looking fairground all that difficult to absorb. Kingsley knows more about the art world than she does, but he must agree with her assessment because he grunts and shoves her glass into her hand when she stops beside him, and more roughly than she deserves, as if she's the one who landed him in this mess of a conversation to begin with.

Trust him to find himself stuck with the only dick (not etched by a 4B Steadtler graphite pencil) in the building, and trust her to be stuck with the person who got himself stuck with King.

"What are we talking about?" she asks brightly, just to fuck with him.

"Drink your champagne, there's a good little hen," King mutters, his teeth clenched together, hallway lights bouncing off the smoothly waxed dome of his bald head.

"We've been discussing this piece." Houndstooth nods to the painting, but his limpid eyes narrow on Lily's face. "Christ, you're very redheaded, aren't you?"

It's decided. She'll wait 'til Houndstooth is drunk and trip him up with Henry Hoover's hose.

"Ergo soulless, yes," she agrees.

"And you...enjoy that?" he asks, as if being redheaded is her profession.

"Very much, thanks."

"Hmmp. Well. I came here with Saffron," he announces, pronouncing it Sef-ron. As if Lily is supposed to know who that is. "Platonically, of course. Actually, we're some sort of cousins, I think. What do you think the artist is trying to convey?"

He's very pointedly asking her, so Lily blinks at the painting, her eyes on the outstretched arm of a child on the carousel.

"I like the pretty colours," she decides aloud.

"Right," says Houndstooth, "but that's not—"

"And the lights, too. The lights are really pretty."

"But—"

"I love funfairs, actually," she brightly continues, finding a strange satisfaction in playing dumb in front of Houndstooth and his overbleached fade. Although she does really like the colours. "Haven't been to one in years!"

"Yes, good, whatever, but what is the artist trying to convey?"

"What artist?" comes a voice from behind them.

Lily glances over her shoulder and finds herself looking up at the man whose penis she's spent the past thirty minutes avoiding eye contact with, though he is taller, better proportioned and infinitely more beautiful than any of those crudely drawn depictions could possibly convey. He is also beplumed and bejewelled like a pirate, wearing a sumptuous velvet jacket over a loose white shirt, numerous rings on his fingers and an assortment of silver chains around his slender neck, while his grey eyes and elegantly high-set cheekbones are framed by a tumble of black hair that genuinely looks like silk.

The man is so beautiful, in fact, that Lily immediately wonders why he's been taking sketches home from the life drawing class that he and Kingsley pose for—hence their acquaintance and Lily's presence at this party—when nothing she's seen tonight has done him any justice.

Most happily, his penis is tucked safely out of sight.

"Alright, Sirius?" says King.

"Alright, Marvel?" Sirius claps a hand to the taller man's massive shoulder. Kingley's muscles bulge in a way that cannot be hidden by modern habiliments. "What are we talking about?"

"Not much." Houndstooth looks put out by the arrival of yet another person. "We were just mesmerised by this piece."

Lily refrains from gesturing to the painting with both hands and a "ta-dah!" choosing instead to sip her champagne.

It's very good champagne. Mmm. Yes.

"Oh, yeah, it's really something," Sirius agrees. He brushes past Kingsley and runs a finger over the illegible squiggle of a signature on the canvas. His nails are beautifully manicured. "Local guy, young up-and-comer. I assume you've heard of Algernon?" he asks Houndstooth, fixing him with a steely-eyed stare.

"Er, yes." Houndstooth's gaze slides from Sirius to the painting. "I know him."

Sirius's eyebrows lift. "Know him personally?"

"Well—"

"That's so weird, I heard he never speaks to people."

Houndstooth chews on the inside of his cheek, weighing up the challenge. "How…funny."

"Funny?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just, I know I've spoken to him before, and since you've bought his painting I assumed that you'd have—"

"That is funny, actually," Sirius interrupts, "because the artist is my brother, and Algernon is the name of his cat."

Kingsley has been tugging on his earring and almost rips it out of his ear as his body convulses, champagne spraying from his nostrils, while an alarming red flush sweeps across Houndstooth's face and he begins to sputter on his own self-importance. Sirius has clearly decided that he's done with all of that noise, however, because he turns back to Lily instead, looking her up and down with great and sudden interest.

"Who's this then?" he asks Kingsley, cocking his head to one side. "James's present?"

The champagne glass swings down and Lily fixes him with a deadpan stare. "Excuse me?"

Sirius slants a grin at Kingsley, a quick flash of teeth. "This one's queenly, isn't she?"

Kingsley wipes his nose with the back of his hand and laughs again. "Hardly."

"This is Primark, mate," Lily retorts, tugging on her t-shirt.

"Queenliness is a state of mind," says Sirius, "not a state of wardrobe."

"You had me marked down as a prostitute not ten seconds ago."

"Oh, that. I was only joking," he sighs, and grips her arm at the elbow, his long fingers cool against her skin. "But still, you're far too attractive to stand here talking to this clown. Come with me and I'll find you someone better."

*

James's friends are useless.

And drunk. Useless and drunk—or sort of drunk, in Saffy's case. Remus is certainly already pissed, but Remus is on meds so often that he drinks but once in a blue moon. One cocktail is usually enough to set him off, and he's been hard at the gin since he turned up with Peter at six.

"I don't know anyone with those initials," Saffy declares, once she has read, examined and even sniffed the birthday card for clues. "Except for Lisa Edelstein."

"Who's Lisa Edelstein?"

"Cuddy from House," says Remus, lowering the negroni from which he has been drinking deeply.

James pulls a face. "What the fuck is a Cuddy?"

"Oh, actually, it could mean le?" Remus suggests.

"Yes!" Saffy points at him like he might be onto something. "Like the French word for the?"

"Exactly, like—"

"It doesn't mean that!" James interrupts, unwilling to allow such profanity in his home. "That doesn't make sense, why would somebody sign their name as the?"

"Now you're asking me to explain how French people think?" says Saffy derisively, adjusting her bra strap beneath that burnt orange waistcoat she loves, the one that makes her look like she's directing a pornographic movie in the 70s when she pairs it with her tortoiseshell-framed aviators. It clashes wildly with her electric blue buzz-cut. "Am nooooo drunk enough for that."

"They could be one of those one word moniker pop stars, I suppose," Remus pipes up, smiling slyly. "You know, like Madonna?"

They think James doesn't realise that they're taking the piss out of him, but neither of them are sober enough to attempt their gambit with any kind of subtlety or grace.

"You know that's actually her real Christian name?" says Saffy.

Remus turns towards her with interest. "What, Madonna?"

"Yeah!"

"Really?"

"Yeah!" Saffy repeats. "I thought it couldn't possibly be her real name because, I mean, Madonna, yeah? But then I looked it up and apparently that's the name her mummy gave her, just goes to show—"

"I'm sorry," James interrupts, "but is Madonna relevant to this conversation?"

"Yes, always," says Saffy.

"She's an international pop megastar," Remus seconds.

James stares at his friend incredulously. "Drinking really chips away at your wit, y'know?"

"Does it?" Remus grins lazily and jiggles his cocktail in the air. "Oh, well, I'm negronly joking."

Saffy does a spit-take without the spit and clings helplessly to Remus's shoulder as she laughs, knees buckling, bangles tinkling, but James fights his own urge to start snickering.

"It's not that funny," he lies, and Remus eyes him with an alarmingly teacher-like shrewdness, despite the tellingly intoxicated flush that has crept into his thin, freckled face.

James's love of puns is tragically well known.

"You didn't get it." Remus points at his drink. His speech is starting to slur. "This is a negroni, what I said was—"

"Yeah, I got that part, I just—"

"Jesus fuck, look at her!" Saffy suddenly hisses, staggering sideways into Remus and sending him into the wall in a flurry of giggles—Remus giggling?—her voice hushed and urgent. "Who the hell is that?!"

James does look, following the direction of Saffy's gaze. Sirius has just entered the living room, casually clutching the elbow of a……

……goddess.

An actual. Like. Goddess.

A goddess. In James's house. In his living room. In the place where he eats his chocolate boulder cereal and rewatches Scrubs (even season 9, which is hilarious, and very unfairly disparaged by Joe Public) on Saturday mornings.

She's a goddess. A real one, and cleverly disguised as a mortal, sure, with her slouchy white t-shirt and her big hoop earrings and her light blue jeans that are torn at the knees, wearing her shoulder-length red hair half up, half down and slightly messy, but that doesn't hide what she is.

"Oh my god," he murmurs. His heart is pounding all of a sudden, which is so...utterly bloody stupid, but Saffy's right, bloody look at her, Jesus fuck.

"Surely she can't be with Sirius?" Saffy murmurs back.

"No, she—" He watches Sirius lean down to mutter something in the redhead's ear. A ghost of a laugh flits across her beautiful face. "She's not his—he isn't—"

"D'you think—"

"No, I—"

"Good," says Saffy firmly. She lets go of Remus and rises, lengthening her spine. It is a battle stance of some sort, presumably. "Because I saw her first."

"No!" James cries, wounded, and the redhead shoots him a curious look with a pair of eyes that are startlingly emerald green, even from all the bloody way over here. He spins to face Saffy and lowers his voice, face burning. "It's my house!"

"What are you arguing here, ownership rights?"

"No but it—it's my birthday!" James retorts, jabbing at his own chest. "And, actually, and—"

"It's in the bloody post!"

"—you didn't get me a present!" he finishes in triumph, not that he knows what he's arguing for, because the likelihood is that his tongue will glue itself to the roof of his mouth if he even dares to look in her direction one more time. "Plus I set you up with Vanya Petrich, with whom, as I recall, you enjoyed four years—"

"Stop throwing that in my face!"

"—four blissful years—"

"Is it my fault that you've never fancied any girl I've set you up with?!"

"—promised me an Easter ham for setting you up with her and I never got it—"

"So now you'll trade a woman for a ham?" Saffy accuses, though her face is too lit up, her brown eyes too crinkled at the corners—she's having fun with this and she isn't going to fool him and she knows it. "That's so low, even—"

"Don't start with that," James scathingly cuts in. "You offered me Sean Connery's autograph for Bonnie Grogan's number—"

"Which you never gave me!"

"Because you forged the bloody signature!"

"And now she's bloody married!"

"Yeah, well, Isabella wouldn't give me a counterfeit present, would she?" he retorts, and Saffy lets her shoulders drop, smirking. "This is pointless, Saf, we can't—"

"She's just left with Sirius," Remus informs them, and burps.

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here!

A/N: I apologize for all the profanity in this part ahead of time. I think I’m going to do M/W/Sat updates, as long as my writing permits, and then maybe Wed/Sat updates. I got the day off because it snowed so I thought I would post this since it’s ready haha

* Well you’re royally f*cked

* There’s a big stupid smile curled on your face, and every time you try to hide it, it just comes back wider

* You really shouldn’t be happy right now

* “What has you in such a good mood?” Edward’s got a matching smile of his own.

* Oh shit. It’s fine, you’ll just play dumb.

* “How do you know I’m happy?” How about the dumb grin you’ve got on your face you stupid b*tch.

* You would have smacked your own forehead if you weren’t aware Edward was watching your every move

* You’re lucky Edward’s nice and he doesn’t call you out on it

* “Whenever you’re happy it kind of radiates off of you,” his voice lowers “you know because of your powers”

* Ah, you didn’t know you did that

* “So what do you think about the new girl?” You blurt it out like it’s an intrusive thought

* F*ck. Just-okay just play it cool. Play it cool.

* F********ckkkkk what’s wrong with you.

* Is being happy making you act like a moron?

* He shrugs

* “Just another human, I kind of wish everyone would shut up about it though. Having to hear people talk about her and think about her is getting annoying. It’s like being in a tunnel with one too many echoes.”

* Ah, so he hasn’t noticed yet.

* “I wonder what she’s thinking about.”

* Edward just shrugs again.

* What the f*ck Edward take a hint!

* “Edward?”

* “Yes dear?” He has the nerve to grin after using that pet name. The criminal is teasing you. Some best friend.

* And still it makes you outrageously happy

* You have to force your smile into a straight line

* “What’s the new girl thinking?”

* He looks over to her, Tyler and Mike are fighting for her attention, both of them a moment away from tugging on each arm and shouting “mine!”

* You see him search, you’ve heard enough about his powers to know right now it’s like mall food court level of chatter for him, but in a few seconds he’ll focus on her and realize he can’t hear her thoughts.

* Knowing how prideful he is though, he’ll probably deny it.

* “I don’t know I can’t read her mind” he says bluntly. “Do you think the school music teacher would teach me how to play violin if I asked?”

* “What?!?”

* “I know it’s kind of inconsiderate to ask but-“ you click your tongue

* “No not that!” You gesture towards Bella “you can’t read her mind?!? Isn’t that kind of a big deal?”

* His eyebrows thread together

* “I can’t read your mind either”

* Yes but you’re from a completely different world, in a body that radiates despair (and apparently joy now). You’re basically like some type of eldritch being from another dimension. 

* Edward doesn’t see it that though

* “Honestly it’s a relief, one less mind I have to tune out.” He walks ahead of you as you stay motionless in the middle of the hallway

* What the f*ck is happening?

* “Are you coming? We’re going to be late for Biology if you keep lagging behind like that.”

* How could you forget? The whole story starts because Edward is super into Bella’s blood! He fantasizes killing her for like- the entire class period.

* You were worried for nothing, just because they didn’t have the cafeteria moment isn’t that big of a deal

* The thought makes you both relieved and a little sad

* Still it’s for the best, this is the way things are supposed to be

* And who knows, if you have to leave maybe you can poach Rosalie and Emmett to leave with you

* And maybe Jasper, he won’t like having a human around the house all the time

* “Mr. Cullen, Ms. Eleazar” Mr. Banner hands you each a worksheet.

* Oh right the onion cell worksheet. Ah right the mitosis crap. Well hopefully Mike remembers enough that you both can hobble through

* “New year means new seating arrangement!” He tells you both excitedly. The seating arrangements on the projector.

* “Why am I next to Edward isn’t the seating arrangement supposed to be alphabetical?”

* “I decided to go by grade this time, you should be happy! Aren’t you two...friends?” You can tell your teacher is confused by the nature of your relationship, almost as much as you are. 

* “Super happy Teach.” You mumble taking your seat next to Edward who’s grinning like an idiot

* “You can’t say he’s picking favorites when it’s merit based.” He grins and you roll your eyes

* Angela’s sitting next to Ben Cheney, they seem to be discussing the trigonometry homework, and how it’s basically impossible

* Oh right, he’s supposed to be her boyfriend this year. 

* Personally you think Angela could do way better. But love is blind, you’ll ship it if you have to. 

* And right on cue Mike walks in, Bella following close behind. He takes his seat on the table behind you while Bella talks to Mr. Barnes

* “Why didn’t you guys sit with us at lunch today?” Mike is practically leaned over the entire width of the table.

* Before you can say anything Edward snorts

* “Because (Y/N) was getting lectured for staying out all night again”

* Mike looks like his eyes might pop out of his head

* “W-what? Out all night?! Without inviting me!” You roll your eyes.

* “He’s making it more dramatic, I went out for a run early in the morning because I couldn’t sleep and everyone was freaking out because they thought I got kidnapped.”

* Like any vampire or human stood a chance against you and your violent mood swings

* Mike’s so caught up in lecturing you about how you need to be more careful

* “There’s a lot of weirdos out there!” Yeah you live with them

* That he doesn’t even notice Bella’s taken a seat next to him

* Now that you get a better look at her, she is kinda pretty. She’s the kind of person who probably always looks good in photographs, no matter what the angle. Nice cheekbones and big brown eyes. Modest on boobs and butt, but she’s skinny so it works for her.

* “Hey, you’re Bella right?” You give her your friendliest smile, and you don’t miss the light blush that blooms on her face.

* You’re not sure whether it’s from your beauty or because she’s just not used to so much attention. She just nods.

* “Have you already seen the three whole things there are to do in Town on a Friday night?”

* Bella actually laughs at that. She’s got dimples, and little wrinkles that show up at the corner of her eyes. It’s cute.

* “One of those things is going to the library, so really it’s only two things.”

* She giggles again.

* “Is the other one going over to your house to play monopoly?” Mike asks, a grin arching onto his face

* “No my house is out of town, the other thing is to go to the school football game”

* “I’m not really a big fan of football” Bella hesitantly says, and Mike and Edward laugh

* “Yeah no one here does, everyone goes for the half time show, or just to hang out.” 

* You’re pretty sure your entire friend group only goes to the games to see your cheer routine, especially this year since you’re captain now. The first junior captain in a long time apparently. The news actually made the local newspaper.

* Everything is going good, and you’re starting to think maybe you and Bella might be friends.

* “Why don’t we have a board game night at our house again? Last time was-“

* You stop sentence, you were having so much fun you almost forgot why Edward was so obsessed with Bella.

* The slight breeze from the air conditioning brings her scent to you.

* You cover your mouth and nose with your hand

* Her scent is REVOLTING

* “(Y/N), are you okay?” Mike asks

* You vaguely feel Edward’s hand on your shoulder, has he not caught her scent yet?

* It’s pretty hard to miss

* Like gym socks, with a overly sweet base, it’s like-

* Your head snaps up, and your hand clamps over your mouth and nose even harder, but not because the scent is revolting

* She smells like cheese, perfectly aged Gorgonzola cheese, or maybe Brie?

* You smell the sweeter undercurrent stronger now, it’s like warm juicy peaches

* Roasted peach salad tossed with Gorgonzola and olive oil

* How many times have you dreamed about eating that while basking in the warm sunlight

* “I knew you shouldn’t have eaten those leftovers at lunch,” Edward says, but you know it’s performative, thank god he’s still got some sense after smelling her.

* “Mr.Banner, I think (Y/N) ate something bad, is it alright if I help them to the nurses office?”

* “Yes and hurry!” He’s practically shooing you out as Edward pulls you by the arm

* Nooooo, you wanna smell her moreeee

* You have the sense to not wine and keep your mouth covered.

* Edward doesn’t take you to the nurse, you both don’t stop walking until you’re at the parking lot

* “What the hell was that?” He asks, it’s the first time he’s seemed even remotely angry with you

* He seems more confused then angry though, you’re so shocked you actually sit down on the curb.

* And after a moment of hesitance Edward sits beside you, placing his hand over your own

* “She smells good Edward, like really good.”

* Edward laughs

* “Yeah I gathered that” he shakes his head. “I thought you were supposed to be a picky eater”

* “I aaaaamm” you moan, your head is cradled in your left hand. “She’s like one in a million”

* “You’re one in a million” you lift your head to see Edward looking at you with that stupid sh*t eating grin.

* “Really Edward my life is falling apart because I want to eat someone, and you think the appropriate response is to flirt?”

* To be fair, he’s always flirting, it’s basically apart of his personality at this point

* “You’re being melodramatic.” He chuckles and throws an arm over your shoulder. “Worst case scenario you kill her, Carlisle doles out his funeral punishment-don’t ask, and then we have to start over as freshman again somewhere else.”

* You groan, you finally worked your way up to a junior, you were just starting to get used to this crappy town, you don’t wanna start all over again in a new one

* “What’s the best case scenario?”

* Edward thinks hard for a minute.

* “Best case scenario...the music teacher agrees to teach me how to play the violin and I impress you with my magnificent playing.” You smack him on the arm.

* “Not the best case scenario for you!” You know he’s doing it on purpose. He just wants to make you laugh

* It works, you do laugh. How much more absurd could this situation get?

* “Everything’s going to be fine, if Jasper can handle having to smell 300 students he thinks smell good, you can handle 1.” 

* He’s got a point

* “Wait-didn’t she smell good to you?” Wasn’t that like, the whole d*mn point?

* His eyebrows thread together and he shrugs

* “Um, she smelled alright, no better or worse than the others. I’m not sure what you smelled-“

* What you smelled? The rich but refreshing flavor profile is sublime

* The f*cking heathen doesn’t even know what he’s missing

* “But to me she smelled like peaches”

* Well he kinda knows what he’s missing

* “She’s definitely anemic though, there’s a sever lack of iron in her scent” ah that must be that cheesy smell you’re getting

* Well ain’t this ironic. The girl who’s going to steal your best friend is only getting noticed because of you.

* “I don’t know, personally I prefer Henrietta the 3rds blood, but that’s just me” he’s lying, your blood is good and all, but it’s definitely still not on par with a humans blood

* He’s just trying to make you feel better.

* He rubs your shoulder, before patting it and moving to stand up.

* “Now come on, we have to make you eat some human food so you can throw up in front of the nurse and she lets us leave school early”

* You roll your eyes, anything to leave school early huh?

* “Yeah all right, lead the way Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Brooding”

* “Why do you always say that? I don’t brood that much anymore!”

* “You know how some people have resting b*tch face? You have resting brood face.”

* “Says the person who literally radiates despair” you shove him as you both walk towards the vending machine

* You take a deep breath as you watch Edward fumble with the vending machine

* The dork literally sticks a credit card up to the glass and demands the machine give him chips. 

* (Y/N/N) why isn’t this working? Am I supposed to insert my card through this slot?” 

* You laugh. You’re pretty sure he’s not doing this on purpose.

* “You’re supposed to use cash Edward.”

* You watch as he fumbles with his wallet muttering:

* “Do you think it’ll take a twenty dollar bill?”

* You watch in amusement as Edward tries - and fails- to use a twenty dollar bill, and then proceed to use obscure profanities to curse “this vile wretch of human technological advancement” 

* You feel a sigh of relief escape you.

* Yeah, everything is going to be fine. 

Tags:  @moonlights27 @thebluetint @the100thtwilight @awesomebooklover17 @oneofthepotterheads @smileygirl08 @imdoingathingmom @iconicgguk @yrawn @alyciaswhore @little-horror-show @wicked-watering-can @lazydreamers @xxxmuxxx @puritanicalhypocrite

[shinonometrash]

Jasper Lane’s Main Story: English vs Japanese version, full summary, comparisons & thoughts. Part 1 of 3. (TW: rape, sexual assault, drugging)

So! Jasper’s route has finally been released in English as of August 31st, 2021. It seems that Voltage is following the same release order for consorts and events as how items were released in the Japanese version. I spent wayyy too much money to binge the entire route in a day...and get all the premium content...(honestly the hardest part about binging a route isn’t the love passes, it’s getting all the spirit points. Ugh.) I took note of a lot of different things in this and wanted to make a post going over all this information. Sorry this post took me so long to make, I had to go back and reread a lot of Jasper’s story in Japanese to refresh my memory as well as make sure I didn’t miss any big details since I had read it first back in May, and my Japanese has improved a lot (I think) since then. It was unfortunate and I didn’t really want to, lol. But! Now it’s his birthday (9/11)! I get to post this on his birthday! Happy birthday, asshole! This post is why you and your route suck! I’m probably only going to be able to post this first part today though, because honestly this post is taking much more time than I expected.

The biggest thing is going to be that 

Jasper’s English (Court of Darkness) route does NOT contain any major triggering content. You’ll probably still want to punch him, though.

So, if you’re looking to find out about that, there you go. Anyways.

I’ve broken this into four posts, three that contain summaries of each chapter, regardless of changes, and one that only contains the changes. 

(As of the date of posting, 9/11/2021, I have not completed all the posts yet. Please check back later and I will add the links to the rest of  them as they are posted.)

This post is part one including the summaries. Part two in currently progress. Part three in currently progress. Post with ONLY comparisons and thoughts currently in progress. 

Since I had contacted Voltage about the triggering content in Jasper’s route (and made a very lengthy Tumblr post about it) and they told me they prefer to remove potentially triggering content from stories in the localization process, rather than simply adding trigger warnings, I was more or less expecting this. Although...I didn’t really expect it to be to this extent, nor did I realize how I was actually going to feel about it...! Of course, the CoD did a fabulous job with the content they were given and what they were told to do, as always, and I completely understand why they changed what they did. Like. Seriously. They did the best they could do with the absolute mess of a route they were given. But, like, the route was an absolute mess to begin with. So there’s only so much that can be done to fix it...💀 Anyways, please know that any of my complaining is not directed at the CoD team because they’re wonderful!! Support them by buying in game content if you’re able to!! They recently released a special VIP pack that’s honestly an AMAZING deal. This is just a criticism of the route itself and my thoughts on it, not on the CoD team.

Now, onto the main point of the post...the English and Japanese versions of this route are very different. 

Warning: This post contains major spoilers about Jasper’s main story as well as potentially triggering content including but not limited to rape, sexual assault, and drugging.

In addition, I am not including any CGs in this post as I’m not trying to break Voltage’s policy.

Please click under the read more to continue.

Okay, so first off this is probably going to sound incredibly self centered of me, but I sort of get the feeling that my post about his Japanese route had some sort of influence on the changes in his route...? Not sure how big of tabs Voltage keeps on Tumblr...but it seems like nearly all of the main points I was specifically really mad about got changed--and I’m sure they must have definitely seen my post...? Also, this too probably sounds silly, but I was kinda happy reading some of the dialogue that was nearly the same as the way I had translated it. Part of me was still afraid that I had no idea what I was talking about and just looked stupid writing a long post with misinterpretations of lines💀

Pre-notes: 1. For those who named their cat something else, Robin = MC’s cat.  2. In the direct quotes, anytime you see “---” it’s just me cutting out a part in the dialogue that I deem unnecessary for comparison purposes. 3. I bolded whether there’s differences in the chapters or not in each chapter summary, in case you only want to read the summaries for the chapters with the differences. It’s pretty much going to be the same as reading my other post, then, but I explain more of the chapter here, usually.

Chapter 1-3

Literally so dull. Nothing really of note. Pretty much the same between the English and Japanese. Jasper asks about her hands and she’s like “omg he’s so nice he was worried about my hands!!”, she meets Sherry and they become friends, the headmaster tells her she has to learn magic if she wants a chance at going back home. They go to the runes and learn about the history of Saligia. Guy grabs her again, she escapes.

Chapter 4

It starts to get a little bit more interesting here. Overall, nothing seems too different between the two stories yet. Jasper invites her to the rooftop for a tea party. Jasper is desperately trying to get MC to interact (in a positive manner) with Guy, she asks Jasper to have tea with her instead. Sherry and Rio mention a ball. Toa and Guy get into a glaring match. Toa leaves. You know, the usual. Jasper whispers something in Guy’s ear and they leave, and everybody follows them because...you know. They discover that Guy’s room has been trashed. Toa walks in and asks what’s going on, and then falls silent when he sees Guy’s room. Guy is like “Toa, you left before me, did you not?” and Toa is like “What are you trying to imply?” then they glare at each other until Lynt is like “Are you trying to say that Toa is the culprit? He would never.” Fenn agrees. Roy says they should investigate, and Toa says he will also investigate, since he is the dorm prefect after all. Afterwards, Jasper asks Guy if he thinks Toa did it, Guy says “No, Qelsum isn’t that stupid.” Guy says they need information. He sends Jasper out to investigate, tells Jasper to be sure not to be seen. Fenn, Violet, and MC go out for food or something, and MC runs into Sirius, literally. Fenn is like “what are you doing?” and MC says she ran into somebody but turns around and there’s nobody there. I guess it’s trying to imply that Jasper is stealthy and can hide away into the night or something?? But then that’s it.

Chapter 5-6

No overall noticeable changes. It’s time for the ball! Sherry lends MC a dress and they head to the ball. She sees Jasper in the hallway closely inspecting wine, without Guy. She calls his name and he startles. He tells her he’s selecting a wine for Guy because Guy is very selective and will not consume anything that Jasper has not prepared. Jasper essentially says that Guy is his reason for living. Then they go into the dance hall. And Guy is all like “why did you come in together?” then they say they ran into each other by chance. Guy goes to take a sip of the wine, looks  startled, and then ends up spitting it out into a handkerchief. He claims he choked on the wine. She finds Jasper in the hallway again, looking at the wine, and calls out. Again, he startles. She wonders why. She tries to ask, but then he dodges the question by telling MC that the dress looks good on her. He invites her to dance and says he’ll teach her. They head back to the ballroom, she asks him some various questions and they all basically end with him saying that he serves Guy or whatever, and she’s thinking all like “work, again...?”. Jasper then tries to make her dance with Guy instead of himself, and when she says she’s going to leave he grabs her arm. There’s a few choices you can make, but one of them is “Please let go of me.” And then! And then! This man literally looks at her and asks “Why?” Yikes!! And she asks why he’s asking why, and he says he doesn’t want her to go, so she agrees to stay a little longer. (Mistake #1) Then he shoves her off onto Guy again. After dancing with Guy she goes out to the balcony and runs into Aquia, and Aquia pricks his finger and it starts bleeding. She tries to look at it and it somehow brushes her lips and at that moment Guy and Jasper come out and ask what’s going on. Aquia apologizes (he did nothing wrong!! >:(  ) They then discover that Aquia’s wound has magically healed somehow. Then here’s the scene with  Guy: “That girl, I want to know everything about her.” Jasper: “Oh my, have you fallen in love?” Guy: “Something like that” Jasper: “Congratulations! We must celebrate this wonderful occasion!” Guy: “That’s enough now. Investigate that woman’s power.”

Chapter 7

No major changes between versions. But...Ughhhhhhhh. We’re gonna meet Sirius in this chapter. But first some humor. They go to the S rank lounge, I believe after the ball. Jasper offers to make coffee. Literally ALL the valets suddenly RUSH to Jasper’s side to ask him to teach them how to brew coffee. So there sitting in the S rank lounge with Jasper brewing coffee while all the other valets are like 👀👀👀👀 lmaoooo. Aight and so the humorous part ends there, sorry! That’s it! Now we must move on.  Fenn says he wants to go out drinking and asks Jasper if he’d like to join, Jasper declines saying he has other matters to attend to. We learn that Hawke, Jasper, and Lance are all drinking buddies. MC is all like “oh thank god, that means he does get time off!” -_- So then Toa laughs and comments how close Jasper and MC are, and is like “wow imagine using your valet for something like that” and then tells her that she’ll be a tool for Avari if she sticks with them, and that it’s not too late to switch to Qelsum’s side instead. (She does not switch. Mistake #2. Arguably her biggest mistake in this entire route, if you ask me.) Guy interjects and tells Toa that MC is his, and Toa is like “lmaooo then why does she seem closer with your valet than you?” and then they glare at each other. MC gets annoyed and leaves. Jasper asks where she’s going. She says she’s going back to her room to see Robin. For some reason, Jasper seems disappointed about this? Afterwards, she goes to her room for a bit but then decides to go explore the town with Robin. Uh oh! Robin goes missing.

She starts looking for Robin and runs into this sketch looking dude. He asks her where’s she’s going, she says she’s looking for her cat. He’s like “oh that flying thing?” and she’s like “Yeah!” and then is like “could you just tell me which way he was headed? I can get there myself.” but the guy insists that she should follow him instead, because the streets are dangerous and she might run into dangerous men. The man is then like “I’m Sirius.” (which, when I first read the Japanese, I thought he was saying “I’m serious” lmaoo) and then he frickin grabs her hand and drags her off!!! Yikes! 

Chapter 8, 1st Interlude, and Chapter 9 

Okay so we’ve got the most significant changes in these chapters. Like. A LOT. This is what the majority of my previous post focused on: the drugging, sexual assault, and morning after.  They basically did their best to make this consensual. It went very similar to what I had predicted, although played up a bit more cringe-y than I had expected...or maybe I just hadn’t thought about how cringe-y it would be. There’s literally so many changes that it’d be a bit of a pain to summarize all of them between the versions, I’m just going to put the actual dialogue/stuff from the stories for a lot of this so you can see the differences more directly. (The Japanese will be roughly translated by me, of course.)

Chapter 8

So Sirius starts walking and walking and walking and she asks where they’re going but he keeps insisting it’ll only be just a little longer or that it’s a shortcut and stuff. Ughhhhh...Then she’s like. This man clearly has no idea what he’s doing, I’m going to run away after all. But then he suddenly tells her they’re going to take a “break”. He drags her into the bar before she can protest or try to run. She tries to say no to a drink, but then he asks if she does drink and she’s like “well I do, but...” and you start seeing the differences here. In English she makes a comment of “Ugh, if only he wasn’t so charming.” Sirius further insists only one drink, even though MC tries to say she needs to go find Robin. He then just straight up orders drinks for them, despite her protesting. She then agrees, and then mentally apologizes to Robin. (Mistake #3) And we start seeing the biggest differences about right here...

For this chapter, let’s play a guessing game on which one is the Japanese version and which one is the English version, shall we? :)

Away from the table, Sirius plants a palm on the counter. Two of the usual are set out before him, bubbles frothing over the top. Sirius glances back and finds MC staring at the patterns in the wood grain. Sirius: Much obliged. Tavern Keeper: Mm-hmm. Scooping up the fizzing, popping tumblers, he tosses a wink at the tavern keeper. Then, he strolls back to spend time with his new friend. - Away from the table, Sirius plants a palm on the counter. Immediately two of the usual shot glasses are set out in front of him. Just to make sure, he looks back at MC, who is staring at the table. Sirius: Ah, thanks. Tavern Keeper: Mhm. Sirius skillfully drops the tablet he had hidden between his fingers into the shot glass of the opposite hand. Then, feigning a nonchalant look, he returns back to the table.

Did you guess which one was which in this part? :) And yes, my friends. In the fucking CANON MAIN ROUTE, it deadass has a line saying that our love interest puts a drug in our drinks. And yet...the Japanese fans still love him! Ugh. Also, that “skillfully” bit really concerns me. That kinda implies that he’s done it multiple times before, does it not??? Honestly I’m not really sure why it says it was a shot glass in the Japanese, though. I thought they were drinking like cocktails, not taking a shot. Maybe that’s why they changed that bit...? Now the stories are the same again for a tiny bit. Some time has passed that they’ve been in the bar/tavern and MC chugs her drink and slams it down on the table. She seems drunk. She’s rambling about Guy and Jasper. Like “I’m not an object!!” “and he’s like “Yes, yes, you aren’t an object.” then like “Who goes around saying stuff like “you are mine” and “give me your power”?? Like seriously! Who says that sort of stuff! It’s so messed up!” and he just listens along, amused. He then says that it’s good to drink sometimes, and she agrees, and then he asks what she wants to do. She notes how she’s only had one drink, yet her head feels a bit fuzzy already, and how it made her very talkative. She says she wants to go home. She reveals that her family died, and that she has a hair clip in her hair from her mom that’s very important to her. She mentions how there are still good people in this world, though.  Sirius tries to order her another drink, and here’s where stuff deviates again.

Sirius: Another of the same, if you please. MC: What, no! I’m fine MC: So hey, you’ve been fantastic company but I really need to go find Robin. (Man I got way too into that conversation.) (Robin must be out there looking for me.) MC: Thanks for the drink, though. You’re a really good listener. And also...really, really pretty. MC: It’s been great meeting you. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime? MC: Like...when I’m not looking for my cat. That’d be...nice.” (I have no filter. No filter whatsoever.) MC: Right, so...Bye... He stands up right as I do. The rickety old table wobbles between us and I pitch into his arms. Sirius: Steady on. Sirius: I might almost think you’ve fallen for me. (Fallen for him? But I’ve only just met the man.) Sirius holds me steady as I smile up at him, feeling silly but bold. He’s even more handsome up close. MC: Like I said, very attractive but...gotta go. Sirius: Hold fast. MC: Haha. Did you just pick me up?! Sirius hefts me into his arms like I weigh nothing, and for a moment I feel like I’m being carried off into the sunset. An electrifying thrill runs through me as I sway against him, adn then I realize we’re moving. MC: Where are we going? Sirius: ... MC: The look he gives me then makes my eyebrows shoot up. I nod and let him carry on. (English version, Mistake #4) When I next open my eyes, I’m being placed down on something fluffy. (I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I should leave well enough alone but there’s something about him...) I peer at the unfamiliar ceiling overhead while Sirius stares down in my eyes. Sirius: No need to hurry. Sirius: The night’s just begun, after all. (Wait a second, aren’t you...?) The seductive smile on his face comes closer. For a split second he reminds me of someone, but it must be my imagination. - Sirius: Bartender, another of the same. MC: Ah, no, I’m good! MC: I really need to go find Robin. (Yikes, I got totally absorbed in that conversation.) (Surely Robin is looking for me, too) MC: Thanks...for talking with me...and listening... MC: Thanks to that I’ll be sure to...remember this... MC: From now on, I’m going...to study...more seriously...for sure.... (Wha...I’m so dizzy...) MC: Sorry...I’m...leaving now... Sirius: Whoa, hold on. MC: Ah... Unsteady on my feet, Sirius picks me up and holds me in his arms. I feel swaying and I open my eyes slightly. I’m being carried somewhere. MC: Where...are we going...? Sirius: ... Strangely, it feels like the ceiling has gotten awfully high... The next thing I’m aware of when I open my eyes is being placed down on something fluffy. (Where am I...?) I gaze at the ceiling above me and Sirius looks into my eyes. Sirius: Let’s take it slowly. Sirius: The night has just begun, no? (Huh...?) Laughing mysteriously, the man’s face comes closer. For a second, I think he looks similar to someone. But it’s just my imagination, right...?

I’m sure you can guess which one is which. One is extremely alarming, the other is cringe. It’s clear they did the most they could to try and make it consensual between them, and ended up doing exactly what I thought with having her make several comments about how attractive he is and then add some playful flirting between them. 😖 Alright! Ready for the next part? 

1st Interlude

I just read the normal first interlude in Japanese before typing out this post and...god, I thought the premium interlude was bad. So, one more time, trigger warning for sexual assault. Damn I really don’t want to write this part, I’m so tired from writing the rest TT (I saved this for last, unfortunately.) I’m not translating all of these so I’ll do a mix of translating exact lines and summarization. In all the stories, first she calls out Jasper’s name at first, confused, and then Sirius looks shocked. And she’s like, how weird, why would I call him that...he’s clearly Sirius...and then they all start to deviate. ><

Normal Interlude

Japanese version (this is the worst one): MC: I’m sorry...I must’ve gotten drunk, sorry for the trouble... Sirius: So you’re apologizing in this situation. (This...situation...?) He kisses her. (Wha...I’m being...kissed...) I’m aware of it, but my body feels so heavy, I can’t resist it. With my arms pinned to the bed, I’m forced to accept the kiss. He says “what is this power?” and then she sees an aura flare up around him. She asks if it’s magic, and he says that it’s interesting, and then asks if it has to do with the length of time or the type of physical contact. -- Sirius: Is it only your lips, or...? His finger runs along my knee, tickling it. With his other hand, he skillfully slips his hand into my shirt. Sirius: No need to be alarmed. Sirius: I simply wish to confirm. (Confirm...?) Sirius: So soft and smooth, you feel nice to touch. Sirius: But, I don’t feel anything from just touching you... Sirius: Is it different depending on where I touch? The sensation of him stroking my skin falsely spreads through my whole body while his fingertips make their way down to my lower limbs. I move my shoulders to try to tell him “I don’t want you to touch me!”, but it doesn’t matter as his fingertips continue to try to uncover something. MC: St...stop it... Yelling out makes him stop--at least, that’s what I had thought. However,  the thing that stops him isn’t my voice. He removes his hand that was feeling around in my shirt and then starts to think about something. (Is he...searching for something...?) Sirius: ...so it can’t be transferred through the skin, hm. (W-what...?) It’s finally over--is what I thought, at least. This time, he drops kisses on my ears and collarbone. When he puts his hands on my thighs again, I want to run away immediately. (Why...? Why is this happening...?) MC: Is this...is this a dream...? Sirius: Yes. It’s a dream. So, goodnight. Sirius: You’re about to reach the limit, aren’t you? (Limit? What is he talking about?) Even if I wanted to think about it, my head is too fuzzy and I can’t think of anything. I don’t like it, but...what is it I don’t like? Surely it was something important, but I can’t remember. Before I could say “I’m sorry, I’m really sleepy” my consciousness blacks out. She passes out and Sirius says something about how interesting it is, and that he must report his findings to Guy.

English version: MC: Sorry, I can’t believe I called you by the wrong name. Sirius: Is this the time for apologies? (I guess not...?) He kisses her. (We’re kissing. I’m kissing Sirius...) He’s certainly attractive enough. I’m not attached to anyone here, and yet...Why is it that I keep thinking of Jasper? He says “what is this power?” and then she sees an aura flare up around him. She asks if it’s magic, and he says that it’s interesting, and then asks if it has to do with the length of time or the type of physical contact. -- Sirius: Is it only your lips, or...? His fingers walk along my knee, tickling me. I shiver and grin as he gives me a considering look, then slips his hand inside my shirt. -- Sirius: I only wish to see what you’re capable of. (Strangest bedroom talk ever.) Sirius: You’re exquisite. Soft, smooth, perfect to the touch... Sirius: But I seek other responses. Sirius: Tell me, is this where you want to be touched? He peers down at me expectantly, hands petting along my skin as if to encourage me to speak. I squeeze my thighs together, hoping he’ll continue without the need for words. He raises an eyebrow. MC: Sirius, I need... At first I think the sound of my voice has given him pause. Then I realize something else has happened. He tidies my open shirt a little and frowns thoughtfully. (What is he doing? What is it he’s looking for?) Sirius: Hm, no transfer from the skin. (Uh, what?) My mouth falls open. Has the moment been ruined somehow? If so, what’d I do? But then he plants tiny kisses over my ears, neck, and cheeks. His hands sweep over me once more, but far more soothingly. Still, I can’t get the image of Jasper out of my mind. (I can’t be doing this. It’s not fair to be thinking of one man when I’m with another. I need to sort my head out.) MC: Sirius, I can’t do this. I’m...I think I’m developing feelings for someone else, so it wouldn’t be fair to you to do this... Sirius: Well, well. There’s an unexpected turn. ...All right. We’ll think of this as nothing more than a passing dream. Sirius: This never happened then. Good night, MC. (Good night? But we’ve only just...) Suddenly I feel very drowsy. A second ago I wanted nothing more than a crazy, one-night romp with a man who has crystalline red eyes. Now I can’t think of anything but how comfortable this bed is. She passes out and Sirius says something about how interesting it is, and that he must report his findings to Guy. --

Yikes!!!!! I was so shocked when I read the normal interlude!! Especially the Japanese version!! Now for the other one...

Premium Interlude

Japanese version:

MC: I’m sorry...I must’ve gotten drunk, sorry for the trouble... Sirius: So you’re apologizing in this situation. (This...situation...?) His voice is close.  But besides that, I don’t understand the situation very well. Sirius: Is it hard to open your eyes? MC: Yes... Sirius: I’ll make you feel better right now. (Feel better...?) She sees him put in eyedrops. She tries to ask but her voice is really quiet and her throat is dry. MC: Excuse me, could...could I have some water?”  Sirius: I’ll give you some right now I felt something cold touch my lips and water poured down my throat. MC: ...nng (No...it’s something else. I’m...being kissed...) I understand that, but, but I feel too drowsy to be able to resist.  With my arms pinned to the bed, I’m forced to accept the kiss. He says “what is this power?” and then she sees an aura flare up around him. She asks if it’s magic, and he says that it’s interesting, and then asks if it has to do with the length of time or the type of physical contact. (What...this kiss...) It’s a kiss that makes me feel as if I’ll be swallowed by the torrent of pleasure. (I’ve never experienced something like this...) Sirius: Ha...ahh... MC: ...mm, Sirius... His lips pull away with a wet sound and I sigh. Sirius: It’s as I thought... MC: Stop...it...already... Sirius: Shhh... Sirius: Be quiet. I’m going to make you feel better. He wipes his finger along my wet lips and pushes it inside my mouth. My shoulders jump and I shiver and inhale sharply, feeling like I’m being bitten on the neck by Sirius. MC: Mnn... Sirius: Suck... He moves his finger around my mouth and I move my tongue as I’m told. Sirius: That’s it good girl... Sirius: ...so it can’t be transferred through the skin, hm. (What...is he talking about...?) Sirius: How about...here? He removes his finger from my mouth and strokes my knee. MC asks if it’s a dream, and the rest of the interlude ends the same way as the normal Japanese interlude ends.

English version:

MC: Sorry, I can’t believe I called you by the wrong name. Sirius: Is this the time for apologies? (I guess not...?) I can almost feel his voice vibrate against my skin. Shivering at the sensation, I let my head fall against the pillows. Sirius: Would you rather keep your eyes closed at the moment? MC: Mm. yeah. I like the sound of your voice. It...reminds me of someone... Sirius: Then keep them closed. Sirius tells her to hold on a minute and puts in eyedrops. MC says her throat is dry and asks for some water. He gives her water, but she realizes that it’s not a cup but rather him giving her water from his lips. -- They kiss. (Who taught him to kiss like this?) It’s like some dam has burst within me and a tide of pleasure is threatening to sweet me away. (I’ve never experienced anything like this. Is this magic, too, or just him?) Sirius: Mm..Yes... MC: Ah...Sirius... A wanton moan escapes me as he gives me space to breathe. The thing is, in my mind’s eye I keep seeing someone else. Sirius: Quite as I suspected. MC: That was incredible. What was-- Sirius: Shh. Hush now. I’ll fufill that yearning of yours. He rubs his thumb against my dampened bottom lip then slips it inside my mouth. My shoulders jump as he moves his lips and teeth over my neck. Sirius: Suck. I obediently swirl my tongue over his thumb, taking it in further. Sirius: Good girl. -- Then she says she can’t do it because of having feelings for someone else, just like in the normal English and the rest of the interlude continues the exact same way.

I can’t believe Voltage was really like “hey, pay us and we’ll make the content less rape-y for you! :)” Big yikes lol. I’d only read the premium at the time of my original post, and I thought that was bad enough to write a post about it. That normal interlude though? YIKES. Like...gahhh I know I already said this same thing like three times earlier but I’m just so grossed out!!

Also, a quick note. The CG for this has Sirius laying on top of her while she has her eyes closed. This is because she’s UNCONSCIOUS in the Japanese version. I was wondering how they were gonna get around it, but like not long before it came out I was like “oh they can just have him comment telling her to close her eyes or something” and I guess that’s more or less what they did...?

Chapter 9

Okay so I realize I did make a slight translation error in my original post about the ninth chapter. She does indeed say “I don’t have a headache” rather than what I had thought it said which was “My head hurts, but it can’t be a hangover.”  which is what they went with in the English.��“My head doesn’t hurt, though, which suggests I don’t have a hangover.” The rest seems about right, though. Anyways, so this chapter starts the morning after the events of the first interlude with MC waking up in the strange bedroom. While not technically as big of change as in Chapter 8 and the first interlude, this is also one of the most changed chapters between versions. 

The Japanese version:

(Where am I?) I open my eyes and am unable to move at first. ---- (Robin and I got separated in town...so I was searching for him) (And then...ah, yeah, I met Sirius) (He was showing me the way...and then there was that bar on the dark street where I was only going to drink one drink, and then...) .... ....... .......... “Shit, I can’t remember anything...” I’m not sure how I got to this room or what happened after I blacked out. My head doesn’t hurt, so it’s not a hangover.  I only had one drink, that’s the one thing I CAN remember. “No way...” Nervously, I run my hands down my body.  The hem of my shirt was untucked, all the buttons completely undone, and my skirt was rolled up past my thighs.  (I want to think it’s just from how I slept...I really want to think that, but...)  Being drunk can make you roll around and do that. I can’t hide how anxious I am about this unexpected situation. My heart thumps painfully in my chest and my legs shake. ---- (Huh? A tattoo?) I see Sirius taking a shower in the other room, with a tattoo spread across his back. (That would mean Sirius and I...) Looking at the bed with disheveled sheets, I wrap my arms around my body and hug myself tightly. “Maybe...maybe we just slept, that’s all...” (It’s a pitiful excuse, I know.) (Oh my god!! I need to go find Robin!!) Remembering something very important, she runs out of the room. ---- Sirius: “Ha, she ran away.”

English version:

Where am I? I open my eyes and stay perfectly still for the first few minutes. ---- (I got separated from Robin in town and while I was looking for him I, ended up lost.) (And then...Oh right, I met Sirius. Man, he was attractive.) (He was showing me the way, then we paused for a drink, and then...) Then...Hmm. What did happen? I’m drawing a blank here. “What the? I have no memory of last night.” I have no idea where this is or the events that led to me waking up here. There are flashes of groans and sighs, but that’s all. My head doesn’t hurt, though, which suggests I don’t have a hangover. Not that I’d expect to have one over a single drink, but I remember that drink being similar to a potion. “Uh-oh. Did I hook up with someone?” I carefully pat myself down. My shirt’s untucked, the buttons are undone, and my skirt’s hiked up around my thighs. (Then again, I could’ve just slept weird. Here’s hoping.) I’ve definitely rolled around in my sleep while drunk before. Still, I never thought I’d have to do a walk of shame in another realm. My heart pounds as I look around, trying to figure out who I spent the night with. (Did I somehow manage to book a room for myself? With what coin?) (It’s like everything that happened since I got here caught up to me all at once. What did I do...?) ---- “What was that?” (A tattoo? It was a gorgeous one, if so.) (The question is, how acquainted did I become with that tattoo last night?) The rumbled bedding comes back into view as I put my head in my hands. “Maybe we just crashed here together after our drink.” “...” (Pitiful excuse, but I’ll take it for now.) (Wait, Robin! Oh god. I have to go find him.) I run out of the room as soon as I remember. Given how little of the situation I remember, it’s probably better if we put that night behind us. ---- Sirius: “Alas. She has absconded.”

Then after she leaves, it goes about the same in both versions. She finds Robin at the gates, is rushing to Toa’s class, gets stopped by Jasper. His voice reminds her of Sirius. He then teases her for being late and is like “You said you were going to go back to your room last night, but it seems like you went out and had fun instead.” and she snaps at him and says she didn’t. He acts surprised. She apologizes and walks off, embarrassed. He laughs.

So. Yeah. One of them, MC wakes up confused after being drugged and raped and is trying to process that and then remembers Robin, runs back to the dorms, and has to deal with Jasper teasing her saying she went out and had “fun” which triggers extremely fresh, bad memories. While the other one...MC is like. Did I hook up with someone?? Whoopsies! Hm, I wonder how I did that. Oh but that Sirius guy was SO hot. Oh shit! I have a cat that’s missing! Gotta go. And then Jasper teases her but she just gets upset because she feels embarrassed about hooking up with someone. Neat. Also, what is with Voltage and their obsession with using “abscond”???

----

Are you feeling uncomfortable right now? A little horrified that Voltage would write a story like that, and romanticize it? Awesome! Me too! Let’s take a break here before moving on. Thankfully, the next parts won’t contain anything near as triggering as the first interlude and chapter 9. 

(Next post currently in progress, will add link as soon as possible! This is taking much longer than I thought it would to write;;;)

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hey there!

So, I agree with you that Rosalie/Bella would never work in the long run. I still don't know about if their friendship/allyship would survive longer either...

BUT, how do you think Bella would react if it were ROSALIE (not Alice) at her house after she jumps off the cliff in New Moon? Alice told Rosalie about the vision, Rosalie decided to go investigate in person before calling Edward...

Anon's referencing this post.

Why Didn't Rosalie Go Back in New Moon

Well, I do have to do my usual up front rant (yes, I know), on why I don't think Rosalie would do this.

It doesn't occur to her to question Alice. Remember, while Alice does warn the family her visions are finnicky, she also presents them in such a way that they can be relied upon. More, Alice was certain about this one.

She saw Bella go under the water and she never came back up. And since then her future has been empty (a la spending the rest of the day with Jake). Before the wolves, whose effect Alice had never noticed, this type of thing didn't happen. She'd get flickering visions if people rapidly changed their minds or else would get blurry indistinct visions for people she didn't know. If you blank out, you're dead.

Alice is 100% certain that Bella Swan is dead.

Rosalie has no reason to question this.

As for why she wouldn't go back anyway. Rosalie was never close with Bella and actively resisted her involvement with the family. Yes, she has mixed feelings over Bella killing herself, but to go back to Forks and her grieving family would be an intrusion on this girl's life.

In a world where Bella killed herself, Rosalie would have to come to terms with her own insecurity and feelings towards Bella. She'll have to recognize just what she felt towards this girl, all the bitterness, the jealousy, the rage, as well as the callous offer to murder her over the van. I imagine this isn't the person Rosalie wants to be and Bella's death will make some of these aspects clear to her.

However, this is not self reflection that Rosalie will want to do in Forks itself around the memory of this girl. She'll want this chapter of her life to be over, to move on, and more importantly she's in crisis mode.

The family is completely falling apart. Edward has disappeared for months with no contact, Alice and Jasper vacated as well, Esme is an emotional wreck barely hanging on, leaving Carlisle, Rosalie, and Emmett grasping at straws.

This is a tragedy, but maybe it's what can bring them together. Edward will need to grieve, but he should do it surrounded by family. They can come back together and move on with their lives and be the support they all need.

And if no one else has the balls to tell Edward, then it's going to have to be Rosalie. As it always, every time, has to be Rosalie. Someday, he'll thank her.

Well, as we all know, that backfired immensely. Turned out Bella wasn't dead and rather than Alice getting the blame for saying "Bella is most definitely dead", Rosalie gets the blame for having the courage to tell Edward, and Edward now hates her more than ever.

And Bella's back. Yay Bella.

And Rosalie will never trust Alice ever again.

What If Rosalie Had Shown Back Up in New Moon?

Perhaps Rosalie comes back to offer Charlie Swan her condolences, feeling it's the least she can do for Bella's memory. After that, she'll make the call to Edward.

Regardless, Rosalie shows up at the house, preparing herself for the wake and... Bella opens the door with Jacob Black, now a shapeshifter standing beside her.

Bella's thrilled to see a Cullen, any Cullen, but it's also the one Cullen who loathes her entirely. She would have preferred literally anyone else, even Jasper.

So, rather than run in for a hug, Bella awkwardly stares.

Rosalie stares back and wonders what the fuck is wrong with Alice. Alice explicitly told her Bella was dead, Rosalie came back certain Bella was dead because of it, and she nearly called Edward to tell him this girl was dead and here she is, la di da.

Rosalie tells herself that she will never trust any of Alice's visions ever again.

Rosalie doesn't know what's up with the werewolf and she doesn't want to know. She's not exactly surprised, this is a very Bella thing to do, but she really doesn't care.

All she wants to do is leave.

Rosalie awkwardly tries to explain, "So, the thing is, Alice told me you were dead."

She stops trying to explain.

Bella tries to ask if the rest of the Cullens are nearby, if they're coming back, Rosalie starts sweating bullets. Clearly, Bella did not get the signal that she had been dumped.

For all that Rosalie doesn't like Bella, she doesn't want to have to explain this one to her.

Jake then tells Rosalie to get the fuck out of Forks. How dare she show her face back here after what her family did to Bella and to the tribe. Rosalie has literally no idea what he's talking about.

However, Rosalie doesn't stick around for him to explain about Laurent, Victoria, all the wolves shifting, and Bella's depression. They tell her to get out, fine, she's out.

In morbid embarrassment Rosalie flees the house, calling Alice on her phone, and tearing her a new one for earning Rosalie the most embarrassing moment of her life.

Bella chases after Rosalie's fleeing figure like a character in a romantic tragedy whose lover has just abandoned them.

Bella never sees Rosalie again.

[ravenadottir]

Hello hello! Can I just say that I absolutely adore your writing and the way you bring even more life and depth to the Litg s2 characters?! Like you’re doing gods work luv fr<33

I’m not sure if you’ve been asked this before, and if so I apologize, but I was wondering what you think would be the islanders from s2’s Hogwarts houses? Unfortunately I’ve relapsed into all my childhood obsessions and rewatched all the Harry Potter movies recently and for some reason I find myself thinking who would be in which house and why. As well as thinking up random funny scenarios they would get up to at wizarding school like the disassociating weirdo I am. 🤪✌️I’ve also been thinking like you’d assume Chelsea would be Hufflepuff which I mean isn’t completely wrong, but I also kinda see her as like Luna Lovegood and being in Ravenclaw! Lol idk kwjsksjsjsjsjsns I could totally see the sorting hat being the narrator from litg and just reading these bitches as it sorts them into a house and them being like 👁👄👁. Also ps I would never trust Jakub with magic that fool would probably maximize his muscles until they popped tbh 🙄🤚.

Anyways, thank you for your time regardless if you answer this or not! I hope you have a lovely day! <3

oaskoaskoasoask the narrator sorting them into houses is honestly GOLD!

now... i have answered this before. there are a couple of posts lost in the i-don't-know-how-many-thousand posts i have on litg, but i can say this: chelsea was indeed a hufflepuff! the loyalty and the dumbassery in general? the friendship and the emotional intelligence? i love her in hufflepuff but i can see her complaining about the color of the uniform lol

probably adding as many accessories as she can to break the darkness of the vests and the yellow of the tie.

because i've done it a couple of times, i think i'm gonna include s1 and s3, 'cause you know, new stuff to read! so here it is:

slytherin:

lucas, elisa, hope, jakub, rocco (he's that year's mascot), lottie, graham, shannon, blake, allegra, lucy, reese, jasper, miles, seb, harry, rafi, lily.

gryffindor:

gary, ibrahim, kassam, priya, elijah, levi, mason, jake, talia, jen, bill, genevieve.

hufflepuff:

bobby, chelsea, henrik, arjun, felix, erika, tim, rohan, sammi, tai, ciaran, nicky, aj, elladine.

ravenclaw:

marisol, noah, hannah, carl, yasmin.

and if i'm not wrong @theclowneryqueen said jo was a squib lol

but yeah, that's it! hope i didn't forget anybody... and i probably didn't get as many right but man! i really am surprised about how many ravenclaw's are in this list... oh well!

[andrewmoocow]

Little Homeworld Life chapter 13: Snowfall Feast (originally posted on November 7, 2022)

AN: And now, for our big finish to the season! It may not be Christmastime yet, but that doesn't stop stores everywhere from blasting Mariah Carey once Halloween ends. Anyways, what better way to celebrate the season with giving than to give a parody of How The Grinch Stole Christmas to quite possibly the sourest character in all of Little Homeworld? Yeah, much like Halloween, or Samhain Night, Black Rutile doesn't see the point of my stand-in for Christmas, but in this case, since her time in Little Homeworld has been so miserable, why not make everyone else miserable for once? Yeah, she's officially devolved into cartoon supervillainy at this point, but she's desperate to get a victory in, okay? And as for the Crystal Gems, we once again have some family drama to sort out, but it's not related to Steven this time. No, this time it's about Greg and his parents from "Mister Universe!" How can they work things out in time for the holidays? Tune in and find out!

Synopsis: On the most merry holiday of the year, Black Rutile tries to spoil the festivities for everyone. Meanwhile, Greg reunites with his estranged family.

Cast:

Noël Wells as Black Rutile

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Zach Callison as Steven

Lauren Ash as White Topaz

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper, Shy Rose

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Tiger's Eye

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, Volleyball

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Jennifer Paz as Lapis

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

David Willis as Andy

Maurice LaMarche as Thomas DeMayo

Laura Post as Gloria DeMayo

Kristin Chenoweth as Sheena Synstylae

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball, Ruby

Erica Luttrell as Sapphire

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

Dee Bradley Baker as Lion

Featuring Bill Farmer as Santa Claus

And Matthew Rhys as The Narrator/Dr. James Brenner

--

Ah, Snowfall Feast. It's the most wonderful, merriest time of the year. Fun for all that everyone, human and Gem alike, calls their favorite holiday. Yes, everyone loved Snowfall Feast a lot. However, the ever-unabashedly unpleasant Black Rutile did not. She just hated Snowfall Feast, the whole holiday season. But why do you ask is her reason?

"I just don't see the point of it all!" Black Rutile complained. "It's absolutely abhorrent! Why should everyone be merry when my time here has been nothing but pain?!" Throwing on a white scarf, Black Rutile stormed outside her house to continue fuming, as she watched all the Gems decorate their homes with typically festive decorations. "Like, I have suffered nothing but setback after setback, failure after failure! And instead of just shattering me on the spot, they subject me to a fate worse than harvesting!"

"Hey, Black Rutile, happy Snowfall Feast!" Tiger's Eye exclaimed while giving her a Santa hat to wear. "You like it? I made it myself!"

"Thank you; I am very touched." Black Rutile growled as she marched away from Tiger's Eye. "Like, why do the denizens of this disgusting planet choose now of all times to actually play nice with each other when they just go back to bullying each other for the rest of the year?"

"Something troubling you, my Rutile?" Aquamarine asked as she flew down to perch on Black Rutile's shoulder. "You don't seem to be in a merry mood."

"Gee, I wonder what tipped you off?" Black Rutile dryly replied as she sat down on a snow-covered bench. "So, what have you been up to?"

"Just helping with the decorations." Aquamarine responded. "How about you?"

"Too busy working on the Vortexxer to get into this silly spirit." Black Rutile proclaimed. "Like I said, why do people choose now of all times to be nice to each other when no one here has been nice to me?"

"Maybe it's because you're so unbelievably selfish and think the universe has to bend to your whims, that you think everyone has to act as you say?" Aquamarine responded under her breath, catching her master's attention. "I mean, yeah, why does nothing ever go your way?!"

"I heard what you said, and yes, I totally don't take offense to being called selfish because I know a certain someone who's no better." Black Rutile added. "That reminds me, what are the Crystal Gems doing for the holiday?"

--

Meanwhile, the townies were also getting into the holiday spirit in Beach City. Families and friends had reunited for the season, and the Crystal Gems were no different. However, one family, in particular, wasn't as together as one member wanted it to be. As the Gems baked cookies, wrapped presents, and decorated the beach house, Greg solemnly gazed out the window while drinking some hot cocoa and sighing.

"Problems, Greg?" Pearl's paramour Sheena Synstylae asked the rock star-turned-father as she sat down next to him by the window.

"Oh, hey, Sheena." Greg casually greeted Sheena. "Just thinking about my family right now. I mean, I already got a great one with Steven and the Gems and all his friends, but I can't help but think of my parents now. Aside from Andy, my fam hasn't been together in years, as far as I know. And after hearing about how Steven made amends with Rose, it made me think about my folks and how they're doing after I moved out."

"I can relate." Sheena concurred. "Never had the best relationship with my stepmom myself. Oy gevalt, the stories I could tell you about her! Like, this one time she accidentally took my makeup, and I think I nearly got gray hairs trying to get it back!"

"Hehe, nice." Greg laughed softly before taking a sip of hot chocolate. "Did you two manage to patch things up?"

"Eh, it was half and half." Sheena replied. "We're on better terms now, but we still get on each other's nerves from time to time. Take the good with the bad, as they say."

"Oh, Sheena honey, there you are!" Pearl exclaimed as she walked over to her pink-haired lover and kissed her on the cheek. "And what a coincidence I found you talking with Greg because I was about to give him some great news!"

"What kind of news, Pearl?" Greg asked Pearl.

"Well, I overheard you talking about your parents just now, which reminded me that I arranged for them to come over for Snowfall Feast!" Pearl exclaimed. "Isn't that delightful? I can't wait for Steven to meet your folks once he comes over!"

"Wait, they're coming, here, now?!" Greg yelped in shock at the news. "But, you, I, parents, Rose, dead, Steven, alien-"

"Yo, something wrong here?" Amethyst asked while eating some leftover cookie dough out of the container. "What's this about Greg's parents coming over?"

"Well, that's the thing." Greg responded. "How can my parents possibly respond to the big pink elephant in the room?"

"Pink elephant? What could you possibly mean?" Pearl wondered, only to immediately realize what Greg was talking about. "Oh right, Rose."

"Yeah, gonna be pretty hard to tell everyone that your wife was an alien warrior who died in childbirth, even if everyone knows who the Gems are now." Sheena said. "Hey, Pearl fell for me because I was a near-dead ringer for her. Why don't I fill in?"

"I have an even better idea!" Amethyst declared before she began shapeshifting into Rose. However, Greg quickly stopped her mid-transformation.

"No, no, no, let's not do that all over again!" Greg yelled frightfully, not wanting to be reminded of the last time Amethyst did something like that. "I think maybe we try to be as honest with them as possible." Suddenly, he got a different idea. "Or maybe….." He then suddenly grabbed Pearl by the wrist and dragged her along to the Warp Pad so she could be used to activate it and send them away.

"What's up with Greg?" Bismuth wondered quizzically, stopping her decorating of the tree to watch Greg make off with her and Sheena's mutual girlfriend.

"Daddy issues." Garnet flatly responded. "I don't think I want to know what harebrained schemes can come out of this."

"You know what this reminds me of?" Amethyst asked. "That one Lil Butler Christmas special where the butler disguised as the neighbor's grandpa!"

"Oh please, it can't be that bad!" Peridot remarked while she and Lapis wrapped presents together. "I mean, what's the worse that can happen?" As if the universe wanted to answer Peridot, Greg and Pearl finally returned from their sojourn with a Rose Quartz that looked almost exactly like the one who formerly led the Crystal Gems following them.

"Um, pardon me for being rude," Lapis said. "but what's this Rose clone doing here?"

"Phew, you had no idea how long this took us!" Greg panted in exhaustion. "I had to go to another galaxy just to find a suitable replacement!"

"Uh, hi Crystal Gems, nice to see you again." The shy Rose nervously greeted. "Happy Snowfall Feast, I guess."

"Hey, isn't she one of those Rose Quartzes from the zoo?" Amethyst asked. "How are they possibly going to believe this?"

"I got a plan, everyone." Greg stated. "We're going to act all nice and normal, so that means no weird powers, no fusing, and no shapeshifting in front of my folks. If any of you slip up, we'll say we live an alternative lifestyle. And whatever you do, don't mention the war."

"Yep, totally a harebrained scheme." Garnet nodded just as the front door opened, and in walked Steven Universe, having decided to take a break from his road trip to return home for the holidays. "Steven!"

"Hi, everyone, happy Snowfall Feast!" Steven greeted everyone in the beach house before locking eyes with the lookalike of his mother standing next to Greg. Even if he amicably parted ways with the trio of Rose Quartzes, he never guessed he'd see any of them again, especially this one. "Uh, what did I miss?"

--

"Closer, closer!" Black Rutile muttered to herself as she started running some tests on the nearly completed Vortexxer. "Just a little more!" As the portal began showing some signs of life, Black Rutile's front door suddenly opened, and in walked White Topaz and Jasper, both dressed for the weather and bringing cookies inside.

"Happy Snowfall Feast, Black Rutile!" White Topaz yelled happily, causing her former boss to lose concentration and the Vortexxer to fizzle out, much to her disappointment.

"No!" Black Rutile yelled angrily before turning to glare at the pair. "Look what you made me do, you dolts!"

"Geez, we were just trying to help you get into the spirit." Jasper responded before presenting a cookie. "You want some Snowfall Feast cookies? White Topaz made them herself."

"No, thank you, you should know Gems don't need sustenance." Black Rutile replied as she got back to work. "I just don't get this holiday at all! What's the meaning of all this blasted happiness and cheer anyways?!"

"Oh, I know where this is going." White Topaz realized cheerfully. "You're just a total Grinch or a Scrooge who's too moody to understand the true meaning of Snowfall Feast. It's not just about being happy and merry; Snowfall Feast is about the celebration of giving and the bonds that bring us all together. Plus, all the cool gifts in exchange for cool gifts you give to the ones you love too!"

"Like I buy that sappy garbage." Black Rutile grimaced, not taking her eyes off her experiments one bit. "As that old codger from that silly story would say, bah humbug!"

"Well, if you feel like coming out and celebrating, our door is always open." Jasper said as she and her girlfriend began leaving the house. "Happy Snowfall Feast, I guess."

"Get bent!" Black Rutile yelled back before the door closed, just as Holly Blue, Eyeball, and Cat's Eye entered the room.

"How is progress going on the Vortexxer, my Rutile?" Holly asked her rebel leader.

"I was just about to make a breakthrough when Jasper and White Topaz broke in to assimilate me into their holiday cheer." Black Rutile answered. "I don't understand it at all! Why is everyone but me so freaking happy all the time?!"

"Probably because we've encountered nothing but setback after setback in our plans." Cat's Eye said, which gave Black Rutile an idea. "I mean, what point do they have in making us happy when we have no plans to?"

"Wait, I got it!" Black Rutile beamed creepily as she got a positively wonderful, awful idea. "If they want to force us to be all happy and peaceful, then I think we should make them realize how miserable I am here, and maybe they'll be just as miserable too!"

"I like the way you think, my Rutile!" Eyeball exclaimed as she snacked on the cookies left behind by White Topaz. "But what are we going to do?"

"I'm shocked you didn't get the implication." Black Rutile said as she tied a piece of scrap metal to Eyeball's head to act as a reindeer's antler. "Ruby, with your gem so bright, won't you help us steal Snowfall Feast tonight?"

"Wait, really?" Eyeball gasped as her eye lit up in amazement. "But what will the other Rubies think?!"

"Oh, come on, you've already bullied them into becoming your subordinates. What say we put them to good use?" Black Rutile suggested smartly. "Now, let's start plans for tonight; everyone should be asleep by then."

--

Later that day, more members of Greg's family were invited to Beach City to celebrate Snowfall Feast with the Crystal Gems. Andy showed up first after landing his plane on the snow-covered beach and walking up to the front of the beach house before greeting them as he opened the door. "Hey Greg, happy Snowfall Feast."

"Hi Andy, glad you could make it!" Greg greeted Andy as he let his cousin into the house. "You arrived just in time, because we got some special guests coming!"

"Yeah, Pearl invited Greg's parents for dinner!" Steven added eagerly, though Andy was less than enthused about the news.

"Hey, I'm all for a little family reunion, but how do you suppose they're gonna react to, y'know?" Andy asked while gesturing to each of the Gems. "I mean, it took a while for me to get used to them. I wouldn't be surprised if the same applied to them."

"Ah, don't you worry, Andy-man, we got everything under control!" Greg said proudly with a laugh that quickly turned into anxious stuttering. "Oh geez, this is gonna get so awkward!"

"And who's this supposed to be?" Andy asked as he turned to the shy Rose Quartz, now dressed as Steven's late mother. "Isn't your wife supposed to be dead or something?"

"Hello." The shy Rose politely greeted Andy.

"That's actually a really long and complex story." Steven answered. "I think you're going to need to sit down for this one. You see-"There was a knock at the door. "We can talk later; I think they're here!"

"AGH, THEY'RE HERE!" Greg screamed, his anxiety over seeing his parents again kicking into overdrive. "LET'S HIDE AND BURN THE HOUSE DOWN!"

"Calm down, everyone. We can make it through this. Just don't mention the war." Garnet eased everyone's nerves before she opened the door for Thomas and Gloria DeMayo. "Hello there."

"Excuse me, madam, but is this the right address?" Thomas asked the fusion. "I'm told this is where Gregory lives now."

"Yes, welcome to Greg's house. It's very nice to meet you, Mr. DeMayo." Garnet greeted and shook the DeMayo father's hand. "Would you like to come in?"

"Gladly." Thomas answered as he and his wife entered the house, where he immediately met his son for the first time in decades. "Son."

"Hey, pops, long time no see." Greg awkwardly chuckled and gave his dad an equally awkward hug. "Pat pat."

"Oh Greg, you've gotten so big!" Gloria exclaimed as she got a hug from her son as well. "And I've been told you're a millionaire now? How lucky you must be!"

"Yeah, an old business partner of mine used one of my songs for a burger commercial." Greg responded. "He's dead to me otherwise."

"And I suppose you must be Greg's son." Thomas said while looking down at Steven. "Stephen, I suppose?"

"Steven, actually." Steven corrected his grandfather. "Nice to meet you, Grandpa."

"So, who's the lucky woman you got together with to make such a handsome young man?" Gloria asked with a tousle of Steven's hair before looking around at the Gems in the room with them. "Is it the one with the long nose?"

"What, me?!" Pearl blushed in embarrassment, causing Sheena and Bismuth to laugh. "Oh no, you got it all wrong, Mrs. DeMayo; I'm only Steven's mother in spirit, though I did possess feelings for her once upon a time."

"Hm, is it normal for humans to become this elderly?" Peridot quizzed the DeMayos while examining their aged forms. "I must conduct further research on this."

"Hi." Lapis greeted Greg's parents while sticking a candy cane in her mouth.

"My my, your friends are certainly unique." Thomas remarked dryly. "In fact, I think I remember-"

"Oh, it's nothing much, really!" Greg interrupted his father before introducing him to the rest of the Gems. "I'd like you to meet my wife Rose, her old college roommates Estelle, Amy, and Pearl, her sister Biddie, and Steven's sisters Lana and Dot!"

"Wait, sisters?!" Peridot squawked in offense. "I'll have you know Lapis and I are actually-"

"Quit yacking, you wacko!" Lapis whispered as she slapped Peridot's mouth shut and dragged her away.

"Well, this is certainly a colorful family you have here." Gloria punned softly.

"Good one, Mrs. D!" Sheena exclaimed while standing under the mistletoe with Pearl & Bismuth and getting kisses from them both. "Oh, I guess he forgot, but name's Sheena. I'm Pearl's girlfriend."

"I see; you're one of those queer found families." Thomas stated while adjusting his tie and turning to meet the Rose posing as Greg's wife. "You must be my son's lovely wife, yes?" he asked while kissing the shy Rose on her hand. "Charmed."

"Oh, why thank you." Rose blushed at the older man's politeness. "Though, I've only known him-"

"Since I toured Beach City when I was young!" Greg interrupted his fake wife. "Hey, you two must be tired after the long trip. Why don't we sit down to some hot chocolate and chat for a bit?"

"Oh, we'd be much obliged." Gloria said as she sat down on the couch. However, she didn't know that the sofa was already occupied by Lion, whose mane was decorated with ornaments and Christmas lights. "Oh my! Is that a-"

"Lion!" Steven exclaimed as Lion looked at his young master and pounced on him. "Oh, I missed you too, big guy! How's Connie doing these days?"

"Uh, is that an actual lion?" Gloria whimpered at the sight of a predatorial animal in the house. "How did you manage to get one?"

"Oh, Lion." Garnet replied. "He's just a huge cat we got from the shelter a few years ago. Please don't ask why he's pink. Not even the shelter workers know why."

"Nice kitty." Thomas said nervously as Lion got off Steven and slid towards the DeMayos to inspect them. "Be a good boy, and don't chomp my arm off."

"Hey, who wants cookies?!" Bismuth yelled as she presented some Snowfall Feast cookies on a baking sheet she turned her left hand into. "Oh shoot, my hand!"

"Cut it, cut it!" Greg whispered to Bismuth, who quickly exchanged her hand for a regular baking sheet. "Don't mind Biddie here. Sometimes she's not very good with her hands."

"I see." Thomas said while sipping his hot chocolate and turning to watch Lapis make shapes with her cocoa in the air, to Gloria's delight. "And what's she up to?"

"Psychic powers!" Lapis got in on the fibbing. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"Oh yes, my dear sister Lana is quite the telepath." Peridot declared. "You should've seen what she did to the gardens last week! Positively spellbinding!"

"Fascinating. I want to give that a look later." Thomas replied dryly when he heard a strange humming nearby. Suddenly, two little girls were standing beneath a mistletoe dangling from one of the support beams. "Good lord, what is happening over there?!"

"Look, Ruby, mistletoe." Sapphire chuckled lovingly.

"Oh, come here you!" Ruby exclaimed as the happy couple made out under the mistletoe, much to Thomas's alarm. "Uh, hi there. I'm Ruby. Nice to meet you, sir."

"Wha, how, I-"Thomas stuttered in alarm.

"Now, Thomas, no need to be so close-minded," Gloria said to her husband.

"No, it's not like that; I just want to know where they came from!" Thomas yelled.

"We have made a huge mistake." Sapphire realized. "Look over there, the aurora borealis!"

"Where?!" Thomas yelled as he looked away, giving the two small Gems enough time to fuse back into Garnet, arousing more suspicion from him. "Wait, where did they go?!"

"I don't know who went where." Garnet said cheekily.

"Those girls, they were right there!" Thomas roared in shock, but his expression changed from shock to anger as he turned to Greg. "Gregory, you have some explaining to do!"

"Uh, Grandpa, can I talk with Dad for just a moment?" Steven tried to calm everyone down and took Greg to the bathroom behind their families. "Look, Dad, I know you're uncomfortable about talking to your parents about what you've been up to and especially about Mom, but I think this is all a lost cause. I mean, they probably know who the Gems are because they were already over the news. Why don't we just cut our losses and confess to them already?"

"Aw, come on, Schtu-ball, just give me a chance here." Greg responded softly. "Listen, this plan may not make much sense, but I suggest we just ease them into our situation here, and then we can tell them everything."

"Okay, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but I'm warning you," Steven urged Greg. "This will end badly."

"Sheesh, no need to be such a pessimist." Greg awkwardly answered as the father and son left the bathroom to rejoin the gathering.

--

As night began to fall on Little Homeworld, Black Rutile began putting her plan into action. All through the town, not a creature was stirring, not even a Flower Buddy, a gourd pup, or a mouse. The stockings were hung all around with care, in the hopes that the big man in red would be there. The Gems were nestled, all snug in their bed, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads. With Black Rutile in a Santa costume and her cronies in elf caps, they made sure their plan was under wraps.

"Ho ho ho, this is perfect!" Black Rutile laughed as she drove her makeshift sleigh around Little Homeworld, pulled by Aquamarine and the Rubies with Holly Blue and Cat's Eye in the back. "I just can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they realize everything's gone!"

"Yeah, this might be a good reason to kill time before the Vortexxer is finished." Holly Blue agreed. "So, which house are we robbing first?"

"Where else?" Black Rutile answered as the sleigh pulled up to Jasper and White Topaz's house, and she got off the sleigh to sneak in through the door. As she, Holly, and Cat began pilfering every Snowfall Feast decoration and present they could find, Black Rutile was suddenly reminded of a song. "You're a mean one, Black Rutile; you're proud of being vile!" she started singing. "You're as warm as a volcano; you're as sweet as stomach bile, Black Rutile! You're as disgusting as a hideous pile!"

"Oh my, you write that yourself?" Cat asked as the trio went outside with their loot to pack into the sleigh.

"No, ripping off some old Snowfall special." Black Rutile answered before commanding the Rubies to pull the sleigh again, and she continued to sing. "You're an animal, Black Rutile, you literally have no heart! Your gem is covered in cracks; you've got razor blades for a soul, Black Rutile! I'd rather die than touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole!"

Next up on her list of treasonous former minions for Black Rutile to rob were Demantoid & Pyrope, followed by Emerald, and then the Lapis twins. Presents aplenty were snatched from homes all around, clothing and tools and such all ripped from the ground. Anyone else wouldn't dream of causing such despair, but that naughty Black Rutile didn't care.

"You're disgusting, Black Rutile. You'd make the evilest souls retch!" Black Rutile kept singing as she next chopped down the big tree at the center of town with her sword and tied its trunk to the back of the sleigh. "You have the heartlessness of a man with lots of sketch, Black Rutile! If you had to choose between him and me, you'd choose the man with lots of sketch!"

Despite Black Rutile's attempts at catlike stealth in her theft of Snowfall Feast, the tree dragged loudly against the ground, rousing at least one Gem from their slumber. But she was too busy singing to notice as she began reaching the front gates of Little Homeworld. "You're morally bankrupt, Black Rutile. You're a real piece of junk! You've got the mind of a madman and the attitude of a punk, Black Rutile! If I had to pick three words to describe myself, they would be as followed: stink, stank, stunk!"

--

"The talent agent asked what the name of their act was." Amethyst finished telling a story at the dinner table to the Universe and DeMayo families. "And you know what their answer was? The Aristocrats!" Everyone began laughing uproariously at the punchline, but Pearl was a little turned off by the joke.

"That was quite possibly the most disgusting story you've ever told, Amethyst." Pearl declared as she tried not to barf. "And that's saying something considering the booger story from last month."

"Pardon me, but what is this booger story you speak of?" Thomas asked.

"Oh man, you should've been there!" Amethyst exclaimed, grossing Pearl out even further. "It was the greenest, the biggest, the juiciest-"

"Could someone please pass the potatoes before I lose my appetite?" Gloria nervously asked, and Rose did just that. "Oh, thank you, Rose, you're such a dear! I can see why Greg fell for you."

"Thank you." Rose began blushing.

"Oh dear, none of you have eaten!" Gloria realized as she discovered the Gems hadn't touched your dinner. "You're going to let such wonderful cooking go to waste?"

"We actually don't need to eat." Pearl responded.

"I do!" Amethyst added. "More for me, then!" She quickly scooped up Garnet, Pearl, Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth's dinners and hoarded them all in her mouth. To Thomas's shock, Amethyst did not gain additional weight from that much food.

"You young people and your alternative lifestyles." Thomas frowned.

"Actually, we're way older than you. Like, thousands even." Lapis accidentally slipped up, and she covered her mouth in horror of what she had just said. "Uh oh."

"Thousands of years older, huh?" Thomas said as he ominously turned to Greg. "Is there something you need to tell us?"

"Aw geez." Andy groaned as he smacked his face in disappointment.

"I knew it." Steven muttered, just as disappointed, while Greg slumped in his seat.

"Okay, you got me." Greg sighed in acceptance. "I'm not part of a normal family. I was actually married to an alien warrior who died in childbirth to give birth to Steven."

"I knew it!" Thomas yelled while smacking the table, briefly spooking Gloria and Pearl. "You were lying to us this whole time! What's next? Are you going to tell us that you replaced your wife with an imposter too?!"

"Actually, that's exactly what we did." Pearl pointed out brightly, quickly realizing she wasn't helping, and kept quiet.

"I'm sorry if I made you mad, Greg's dad." Rose shyly apologized, followed by Gloria putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Now, Gregory, what do you have to say for yourself?" Thomas coldly admonished his ashamed son.

"Look, Dad, I'm sorry for lying about all this." Greg apologized to his father. "It's just; I only wanted to ease you all into what I've been up to since I moved out. But now, I guess I have no choice but to tell. So which story do you want to hear, mine or Rose's?"

"Either one of them will do, dear." Gloria replied calmly. "Go on. We won't judge."

"Okay, it's a long and complicated story." Greg sighed as he started telling everyone about Pink Diamond. "Got any gum?"

--

"So what do you suppose we'll do with all our loot?" Aquamarine asked as the Rutile Rebels parked their sleigh outside of Little Homeworld. "Maybe burn it all or toss it off a cliff?"

"We can sort things out later; I just feel like gloating right now!" Black Rutile answered. "I can't believe it; this might be my first big triumph in ages! I've not just ruined Snowfall Feast for all the Gems in the present, but I'm sure to ruin all Snowfall Feasts yet to come too!" As Black Rutile let out a wicked cackle, suddenly, another Gem began making crunchy footsteps in the snow, causing the Snowfall thief to turn to discover who it was. "You again? Why do you keep sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, like everywhere?!"

"Santa Claus, why?" Teal Zircon asked innocently as she discovered that Black Rutile was making off with all the presents and decorations in her sleigh. "Why are you taking our Snowfall Feast? Why?"

"You really don't get it, do you? Figures for such a complete idiot." Black Rutile sneered before shedding her disguise. "Nay Teal Zircon, it is I, Black Rutile! Besides, there's no Santa Claus, just like there's no Easter Bunny or queen of England! He was just some fat idiot made up by morally bankrupt toy companies to make more money!"

"Of course, it was you, Black Rutile." Teal responded. "Still, why did you go all this way to steal everything Snowfall Feast-related from Little Homeworld? Is it because you have some kind of bah humbug grudge against the holiday?"

"No, it's because I don't get it at all!" Black Rutile snapped at the childish Zircon. "I'm expected to be all happy and smiley during this time of year, but I have no reason to because I'm constantly miserable here!"

"Well, if you don't want to be happy, I guess I'll have to make you myself, my bromide." Teal said as she took a krav maga stance and fiercely tackled Black Rutile, causing her bag of presents and décor to topple over as the two Gems fought. Among them was a gift box labeled "To Lapis and Peridot, from Jasper" containing a small, orange Pomeranian puppy that peeked out of the box.

"Come on, Black Rutile, can't you let your heart grow three sizes for just one day?!" Teal yelled as she trapped the rebel in a headlock.

"Never!" Black Rutile yelled. "Plus, having your heart grow any size larger would probably be deadly! To me, my Rutile Rebels!"

"Hands off, you annoying advertiser!" Holly Blue yelled, drawing her whip and cracking it at them both, shocking the Gems and freeing Black Rutile from Teal Zircon's grasp.

"You don't understand, I am so close for once!" Black Rutile exclaimed. "Can't I get a little victory as a Snowfall Feast gift?!" Just then, she heard an assortment of indistinct voices echo from Little Homeworld as they slowly approached the front gates. "Oh no!"

"What's going on here?" Volleyball wondered as the Gems discovered the Rutile Rebels with their sleigh full of stolen goods, along with Black Rutile face down in the snow and Teal desperately trying to save Snowfall Feast. "Teal, what's the meaning of this?!"

"It's Black Rutile!" Teal yelled while poking her head out of the sack. "She's trying to make you all as miserable as she is by stealing Snowfall Feast!"

"Somehow, I figured something like this would happen." Jasper rolled her eyes with dismay.

"Yeah, I think this might be the time for a lesson here, Black Rutile." White Topaz added. "Sometimes, Snowfall Feast isn't about what comes from a store. Maybe it means just a little bit more."

"That's it? That's the message you want to give me?!" Black Rutile yelled in disgust. "You know what, forget this dumb plan, and you can have your dumb stuff back! I'm out of here!" With an overdramatic huff, Black Rutile turned on her heel and stormed off, leaving everyone to take back their stolen belongings.

"Once again, Black Rutile refuses to budge. Not surprised." Jasper huffed back before she looked down at the Pomeranian pawing at her ankle. "Hey, little Earth creature." She said while picking up the puppy. "Let's get you to your new owners."

--

"So, there you have it." Greg proclaimed as he had finished telling his parents the story of his relationship with Rose and everything afterward. "The long and complicated history of me, Rose, and the Crystal Gems. So, what did you think?"

"My, you…. certainly had an eventful time as a father." Thomas said plainly in response to the story. "I was just so blind to how much you've been through. Plus, I did not expect to hear that you technically killed your wife through, y'know."

"Oh, you poor dear." Gloria said as she brought Greg in for a hug. "You've been through so much but never let go of what mattered most. At least you still found happiness after leaving us."

"Thanks, Mom." Greg replied and returned the hug. "You too, pops."

"Okay, you asked for it." Thomas smirked as he stepped up and hugged Greg even tighter than his wife. "Please forgive me for driving you away."

"Eh, maybe that could take a while." Greg said just as the door opened, Jasper and White Topaz walked in. "Oh hey girls, you missed a real crazy night!"

"Hi, Mr. Universe, happy Snowfall Feast, everyone!" White Topaz exclaimed. "Hey, we just wanted to stop by because we got a little gift for a pair of special someones."

"Really, who's getting what?" Peridot asked, causing Jasper to unfurl her hands and reveal the Pomeranian inside them. "Oh my stars, it's so precious!" she exclaimed with stars in her eyes. "What made you want to get it?!"

"Well, we knew how much you missed Pumpkin, so maybe this could be a good replacement." Jasper said sheepishly, not being used to being so giving to her former enemies. To her surprise, the two Gems hugged her in response. "Thanks."

"Merry Snowfall Feast to all!" Steven declared happily.

"And to all, a good night!" Rose added.

--

Unfortunately, not everyone was so merry on Snowfall Feast. Black Rutile sat down on the whirly-bird tower, gazing up at the night sky all by her lonesome as she began contemplating her actions. "Is it really worth it to keep doing all this when failure is basically the only option?" she pondered to herself. "Why even bother trying to make everyone miserable when I'm the only one who's left miserable myself?"

"Something the matter, kiddo?" a jolly voice said, making Black Rutile turn around to see a large man with a white beard, a red suit, and a warm smile sitting next to her. There was no mistaking it; Black Rutile had come face to face with Santa Claus himself. "What's gotten you so sad on Snowfall Feast?"

"What's gotten me so sad?! Oh, you have no idea what I've suffered, old man!" Black Rutile exclaimed. "I am only doing what's best for everyone and trying to be a good leader, but the universe seems to be doing everything in its power to ruin everything for me! I've lost all my power, I barely have any allies, I'm treated as a joke by my former superior, and now my plan to steal Snowfall Feast and make everyone just as sad as I am has been ruined!"

"Well, you're certainly not the first person to try stealing this time of year." Santa commented cheekily. "But I don't think you get it. Snowfall Feast isn't completely about getting things from other people, though that is a very good reason to celebrate it. No, Snowfall Feast is about spending time with the ones you love the most, giving to your fellow man, and just celebrating what it means to have peace on Earth. You get that, right?"

"Why yes, I do." Black Rutile answered. "That was basically the exact same answer White Topaz gave me! I don't know why you bothered visiting me!"

"Okay, geez, I was just trying to be nice, you naughty little Gem!" Santa yelled as Black Rutile stormed off once again. "Uh, merry Snowfall Feast, Black Rutile!"

"Get bent!" Black Rutile responded to Old Saint Nick.

--

"And so ends this heartwarming Snowfall fable." Dr. James Brenner proclaimed while sitting by a fireplace and closing a book. "Please come again, if you are able. We'll take a break for some holiday fun, but when we meet next time, this shall be a good one!"

--

Well said, Brenner. I hope this could become an annual holiday tradition for fanfiction readers, but when we meet again in 2023, shit will surely hit the fan as Black Rutile's next big plan comes to fruition. See you next year everybody, and happy holidays!

[bludhavents]

i really like the love language posts you wrote for the outsides and it got me thinking! only if you want to of course, but what do you think the cullens’ love languages would be? would they even have that lol 😆 <3

OH MY GOODNESS!?!?????!? this is such a good idea you’re literally the BACKBONE of this account i love u and would love to write this. thank you for the request and for being so active 🤎🤎

the cullen siblings’ love languages

edward cullen: quality time

- first of all he snuck into bellas room every night for MONTHS just to watch her sleep

- also in the book whenever they would eat lunch at their own table, it goes to show how much he loved to be around her!

- i feel like him introducing her to his family was another huge indicator of quality time because he wanted her to spend time with his family and feel more comfortable around them all

- the fact that he’s always there to pick her up on time and sneakily comes to hang out with her at nights is also another obvious reason

- i think this is why he chose to physically remove himself from her when they split up. he could’ve easily stayed in forks and just ignored her, but he goes so far away because he is trying to get rid of his feelings for her and the only way he can do that is to make sure they don’t spend any time together

- and the way he was so persistent about wanting to get married is sweet because they are literally going to live for eternity and he knows that, but it’s the precedent that matters to him. he wants them to be married for that time they’ll spend together.

- he also always talks about how he dreads living forever (not only because he thinks he’ll be damned for eternity) but because he thinks it’s pointless. he doesn’t like to have so much time because he feels it gives the moments in his life such little meaning in the long run

- but whenever he meets bella and they become more serious, he’s excited about his immortality! all the more time he gets to spend with his wonderful wife <3

emmett cullen: physical touch

- the first thing that made me think of this is how much bella talks about his strong build in opposition to his teddy bear personality

- the scene where he’s arm wrestling with bella stands out also because that physical touch is his way of being playful and fun

- but he’s also a strong fighter and knows how easy it’d be to hurt someone with his strength, which is even further evidence that he’s a physical guy

- whenever he’s sitting with rosalie on the couch is sweet also, the way they’re just settled up next to eachother is so adorable

- he likes to give hugs!

- he play fights with jasper and edward a lot too, and i feel like it’s his way of showing his love in a non-serious way

- he’s funny too, but he’s not one of the characters who’s at the forefront of the series and we never hear him needing to be reassured or comforted, but we do see people hugging him, hitting him playfully, etc.

- he likes to mess with people’s hair

rosalie hale: acts of service

- she tried to service edward and the rest of her family when she contemplated killing bella. she does everything she can to help keep her family safe and appreciates the same in return.

- she was willing to receive backlash from her entire family just to save that ugly, stank, mutant, baby monster renesme. she saw this as a service to both the baby and to bella, because bella wanted to save her child.

- she helps protect bella from victoria even though nobody is forcing her to. sure, she wasn’t happy about it, but she was there to help service her family and make edward feel better about bellas safety

- she did an act of service for the entire world when she murdered that hideous, evil ex-fiancé of hers.

- but relating to that, when we see snippets of her past life we see her helping people, trying to make royce happy, and sacrificing her needs for those of others and that’s another reason i believe her love language is acts of service.

- she helped bella get ready for the wedding which was a huge turning point in their relationship. for her to spend the time, effort, and work on bellas hair and makeup was her way of communicating her approval of the marriage to bella.

alice cullen: receiving gifts

-OH MY GOD SHES SO HOT AND THIS GIF IS BREATHTAKING

- anyways her love language is receiving gifts! she’s a bright, fun person who has many ways of communicating, but gifts are her signature way of displaying affection.

- she gave bella a prom dress even though it was last minute and alice was way more excited for the prom than bella was lol

- she just seems to give gifts when she’s excited or happy

- and she uses her visions to tell what a person will like the most which is so thoughtful and proves how much she cares about what to give people

- AND SHE WAS SO EXCITED FOR BELLAS BIRTHDAY AND GOT HER SO MANY THOUGHTFUL GIFTS AWH

- i think she did this with bella in particular since bella doesn’t respond super well to physical touch and can get overwhelmed easily

jasper hale: words of affirmation

- likes to be reassured that he can and will be able to control his bloodlust

- his quiet little conversations with alice

- also likes to be reassured about his past and told its okay and that he’s a better person now

- jasper not only likes to be reassured, but it good at reassuring others! he uses his calm voice (and emotional powers) to help get people to rely on him and feel better

- is very reliable and there for you to talk to

- quiet and careful with his words because he wants to make sure he’s saying the right thing and being cautious to monitor how his words affect the mood of the room

[srose-foxfire]

“First Impressions” Part: 6 (Finale) Damirae Pic

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

A/N: Hello Everyone. We finally made it to the finale of “First Impressions” I wanna thank you all for being with me and following along with this fic. This started out as a one-shot but after writing part 1; I couldn’t just stay there and decided to make it into a longer fic. I hoped you enjoy it thus far. This part in particular is longer than the other parts.

I would also like to take the time and wishing Happy Birthday / Belated Birthday to @ravenfan1242 . I wanna personally say thank you so much for all the support you give to artists and writers, like myself in the Damirae community. You may not know this, but you were my very fist commenter on my very first Damirae fic I had written when I first joined tumblr. Your words cheered me right up and gave me the confidence I needed to continue writing. I hope you enjoy this small gift from me. Thank you.

Without further ado, enjoy the story!

~ Simona R.  

-- -- --

Part: 6

Where in his right mind did Damian think this was a good idea? He stood in front of his bathroom mirror and looked at the ‘work of art’ his sisters and Raven had done on him. Layers of foundation, contour, and highlight were plastered all over his face. His eyes were covered in a golden-brown eyeshadow, the girls then added some golden shimmer over it. Cass went ahead and nearly poked his eyes out when she used a liquid eyeliner to create a cat-eye look over his eyes. Stephanie was adding a light peach blush onto Damian’s cheeks. As for Raven who looked like she was actually enjoying torturing him, finished his ‘look’ with a dark purple matte liquid lipstick.

When he saw Cass grabbing her phone, Damian made a run for the door and dashed towards his bedroom. Damian touched his cheek, debating the choices he made that ended him looking like this. He turned on the faucet with warm running water and soaked a hand towel in it. Damian then started scrubbing his face clean; he looked hideous. The make-up wasn’t coming off easily and instead was smudging across his face, why did girls enjoy this, Damian had to wonder. He felt dirty and his face felt thick and tight from all the stuff that was plaster onto his face. Damian turned the water off and threw the hand towel in the sink. Lost in thought. He could had just said no, but he didn’t.

-- -- --

A few minutes earlier Damian had stood outside of Cass’s room when Raven entered to confess, she made up Jasper Sky. One may call him a stalker for leaning against the doorway, but Damian was there for Raven’s sake. He had promised to be there in case the confession had gone bad. Cass’s bedroom became extremely quiet, Damian couldn’t make out words anymore. He concentrated and heard a soft cry. Panicked and worry made him throw the door open to find his sisters hugging Raven, while Raven cried happily in their arms.

His sisters shocked at his outburst both cursed and questioned him what he was doing. Damian shot a quick glance towards Raven who was starting to flush. His sisters didn’t know the promise he had made to Raven. In order to save them both from being interrogated by his sisters, Damian had to come up with a quick plan. The first and only thing that popped in Damian’s mind was “I would like to try that make-over!”

-- -- --

Damian exited his bathroom and tirelessly fell onto his bed. He looked up to the ceiling and watch his ceiling fan just spun. At some point the girls would need to eat, Damian thought. Which would give him a chance to sneak into Cass’s room and take some facial cleansing wipes to clean his face. He should had been more patient and waited for Raven to come out, but the thought of her crying only terrified him greatly. He never wanted to see her cry or be scared, but even he could never stop that. But Damian hope he could be the one to bring Raven comfort, if she allowed him.

Damian’s thoughts were interrupted when someone was heard knocking onto his bedroom door. He turned his head towards the sound and contemplated if he should even open it. If it was one of his older brothers and found him in the state he was in, they would make Damian the laughing stalk of his family till he died. Though Damian rather die if it turned out either his father or Alfred ever saw him in his ridiculous state. How did the heir to Wayne Enterprises come to this? The knocking continued as Damian thought of the last person he would want to see. Cass. Damian knew very well, out of all his siblings, Cass has the largest following in her social media. What if she was trying to take a picture and post it to the whole world?! Worse she was actually coming to get him and drag him back to her room so they could add more cosmetics?

Please no more. What more could they possible add? The door was now being banged and each knocked sounded more frantic than the next. Damian groined into his hands, got up and walked towards his door. “Damn it Cass, enough is enough. I am not going back out there.”

“Actually, it’s me Damian.”Upon hearing her voice, Damian immediately unlocked his door and opened to find Raven holding some facial wipes and a few bottles, which he presumed to be used to remove cosmetics. “I brought some stuff to help clean your face.” She said softly.

Damian lifted a brow and then peek through the doorway before retuning his gaze to her. “It’s just you right? The she-devils aren’t near?”

“She-devils? Your sisters? Damian that’s mean and no they’re busy applying each other a facial mask.”

“Come in.”

Very timidly Raven walked into his room as Damian closed the door behind him. Damian continued to study her as she carefully walked like a frightened doe. What was she so afraid of him? Did she think he be upset with her over the make-over? Then he came to a realization, this was the first time Raven had entered his room. Every time she came over to the manor, the only places he would find her was in Cass’s room, the manor’s library, and the kitchen. Damian had never once invited her to his room.

As Damian continue to think of what he could say to comfort Raven in this most awkward situation, Raven had cleared her throat. “Where would you like to sit?” She asked very shyly.

Damian looked around his room and wished his desk had two chairs instead of one. He walked past her and sat down on the thick carpet, reclining against his bed. Raven followed him and bended down to her knees, she carefully placed the box of facial wipes in front of her and laid a few bottles next to them. She pulled out a wipe and carefully started rubbing his left cheek.

At first Damian tried keeping his gaze towards the carpet floor and count each thread. But his will betray him, he would catch himself side-glancing towards Raven as she carefully continues to clean his face. Afraid he would be caught; Damian closed his eyes and focused on how soft she was being with him. It felt like a massage and the tense knots he had in his face loosened under her touch. Damian leaned his head back against his bed and let out a deep sigh.

“So, my sisters forgave you, correct?”

“They did. Is as you said, they don’t hold grudges though they wanted a complete explanation on why I had to come up with Jasper Sky.”

“Like what?”

“Well I told them something specifically, and with that they backed down.” Raven carefully rubbed his brows clean. The room then became quiet and the only sound heard was the rubbing on his skin.

“I’m sorry.” Raven said in the most-lowest voice possible. “You’re like this because of me and… sigh… I’m sorry.”

Raven pulled away as she threw some used wipes into one pile. Damian looked at her and noticed how some of her lashes had grouped together due to her crying earlier. Remembering how thathad made him feel. Damian looked down at her hands and without even noticing with himself wrapped his hand around hers making Raven look up into his eyes.

“Don’t be.” Damian said as he pulled Raven’s hand closer to his chest. “You have nothing to apologize for, I put myself in this situation and… I would do it again to make sure you’re alright.”

Raven looked shocked at his words. She was right to be. Though now that he revealed this to her, Damian need to tell her more and come clean of his own feelings. He took a deep breath and allowed his heart to speak, “Raven, I have fallen in love with you. My heart beats every-time I am with you, my day lights up at the mention of your name. You are the most unique and most beautiful girl I have ever met. You view the world with a sense of wonder and I would like to see it through your eyes. I-”

Damian stopped when he saw Raven’s eyes watered. What had he done? This was too much and too soon for her.  He sighed, “just forget I said anything-”

Raven slammed her lips onto his, she cupped his face between her palms. She was actually squishing his face, but Damian didn’t feel any pain or didn’t knowhow to react since his brain decided not to function anymore. The poor boy was left in shock, Raven then released his face and slowly pulled away. Hiding her palms between her thighs. Her face was ridiculous flushed, but she was so beautiful, and Damian couldn’t help but stare. “I fallen in love with you too, Damian. I…I love you.”

Damian gave her a warm smile, he touched her cheek and pulled her onto his lap. Once she was settled, Raven wrapped one arm around his neck while the other stroke his check. The two youth continue to smile before both of them leaned into each other for another kiss. This kiss was slow almost as if though this kiss alone they could tell each other their true feelings and leaving themselves open to one another. They pulled and just looked at each other for what felt like an eternity. 

Raven giggled in his arms as she wrapped both arms around his neck, “I actually had a crush on you since before we met.” Damian raised a brow at her as he waited for her to continue, “Your family would tell me stories about you and well I couldn’t wait to me the Damian Wayne.”

“Well lucky for me, I just hope I didn’t raise any concerns after my first impression.”

“Actually, after calming down the whole incident made you look hot. I found out just how much your father’s books meant to you and the lengths you would go to protect the people you loved. Only made the crush I had on you grow.”

Damian only smiled at her and gave her a quick peck on her temple, Raven sighed and rested her head against his chest. “Is there a way for you to sneak away from my sisters tomorrow? I would like to take you out on an official date.”

“I will let them know I won’t be available for a few hours but I’m sure they will be okay with it… they did give me their blessing to date you.”

Before Damian had a chance to ask her what she meant by that, his bedroom door was blasted open, with all his siblings coming through popping confetti poppers and Cass holding up her phone snapping a picture of them, “Damn right you have our blessing Rae, whoo welcome to the family, sister!”

[heartfragment]

Heart Fragment Walkthrough: Clive

In a lot of ways, Clive is similar to the protagonist. He has the same cynical view of the world, the same sharp tongue, and the same inability to be honest with himself. The strange events that bring Clive into your life make you wonder, though: is he an ally? Or an enemy?

Note: Most endings have multiple ways of getting to them. This is a guide to guarantee you get them all, but feel free to mix and match or experiment with your own ideas!

Endings Overview

(for those who don't want a full guide, just the general idea of how to get the endings; if you want a step-by-step guide instead, keep reading!)

Clive branch 1 criteria: certain traits will add points towards this branch. Branch 1 can be unlocked by focusing on the following traits: genuine, nurturing

Clive branch 1, good ending, romantic: end the route with a pink heart or higher

Clive branch 1, good ending, platonic: end the route with an orange heart or lower

Clive branch 2 criteria: focus on the following traits: nosey, paranoid, cautious

Clive branch 2, good ending, romantic: end the route with a pink heart or higher

Clive branch 2, good ending, romantic BONUS: end the route with a pink trait or higher AND the bold trait unlocked

Clive branch 2, good ending, platonic: end the route with an orange heart or lower

Clive bad ending 1: choose "Little Red is eaten by the wolf" during Act 2 of Clive's route, then choose "Keep on running" later on

Clive bad ending 2: choose "Little Red is saved in the end" during Act 2, then choose "Run" and "Turn to look" later on

Clive bad ending 3: have the paranoid OR cautious trait unlocked on Saturday of Act 2, and avoid the previously mentioned bad endings

Clive bad ending 4: have the paranoid trait unlocked on Wednesday of Act 2, then choose "Don't meet up with him"

Clive bad ending 5: choose "Don't do it" when prompted in Act 3, AND do not have the cautious or nurturing traits unlocked

Clive bad ending 6: have cautious trait unlocked on Saturday of Act 2 OR have Clive's heart at dark blue or lower

Full Walkthrough - Common Route

Be polite

Don't disturb her

Yeah, it's me

Sit near him

Search your mother's name

Read the obituary as well

Should I start posting selfies too...?

Ask Shannon about mutants

Offer to shake his hand

You are seriously all crazy

Yes

Yes

Walk in

Admit you're curious

ask all the questions available

Don't pull away

Do more research on your laptop first

Don't tell Kay

I'm not too sure about this yet

Speak up yourself

Tell her it was about something else

Nah, I can go by myself

Yes

Yes

Ask if you can draw Kay

Were you blind from birth?

They can be different now

Don't disturb them

Don't do it

Yes

Yes

Post about yourself

The panacea

Yes

Jasper

You don't think it's too late for that?

Thank you

Welcome home

Your father

I think it has improved

Superpowers

...a good power to have

I want to know more

Your teacher

No, sorry

A full nights rest does sound good

I was just curious

Yes

Post about yourself

Run away

click the eye in the bottom left when it appears with Shannon to read her heart

Tell her about your father

Yes

I feel inspired lol

Do I really need to move?

Am I going to survive this...?

Follow him

Clive is behind a tree, slightly right of center on the screen

Are you saying I was attractive?

Tell him why

Tell Shannon that you're moving

type in "Clive" when prompted for his name

Don't reach for it

Don't reach for it

Don't reach for it

Don't reach for it

Reach out to the hand

I'll tell Clive

I'll tell him about Jasper

You can come again

select the red/orange fragments

Fantasy Intro / Act Zero

Maybe we can hang out

So you think I'll be safe from now on?

CREATE SAVE POINT 1

Text her

Let's meet up soon

I guess I'll go outside for a bit

I am scared, to be honest

Leave the subject alone

Mention all the dreams you've had

Please tell me

Give him the benefit of the doubt

Pancakes are great!

Alright

Yes... I want to talk about it

Ask about his interests

Maybe I should give it a try someday

Yes I am

Maybe

there are three shells on the screen (one small, one medium, and one big). the small shell will lose the contest, medium will end in a tie, big one will result in you as the winner. it's up to you which you do but the medium shell will add a point in favor of Clive's branch 2. the small one is near the very bottom of the screen, slightly to the left on the shore. the medium one is near the shore down from center and slightly to the right. the big shell is a little bit away from the shore and further to the right than the medium shell. end the search by finding the feather at the bottom right corner on the sand.

Grab his arm for support

I'm not happy

Clive Act One

So... what shells did you find?

I should get some rest

...nice (romantic) OR ...interesting (platonic)

Keep your eyes shut

A latte

I'm not sure

I really miss him

Tell the truth

It's alright

Go to the forest without hesitation

Stay

How did his heart end up this way?

Try messaging him on StarxSocial

Sure

Clive Act Two

I believe you

Get up and sit next to him

CREATE SAVE POINT 2

What's wrong?

How long ago did you meet?

Leave the matter alone

CREATE SAVE POINT 3

...Little Red is saved in the end

It sounds like fun

I'll take your word for it

Thanks for bringing me here

...afraid of storms?

Let's take cover somewhere

Suggest continuing in clear weather

I want to play it with you (romance) OR the game sounded fun (platonic)

Reply to Clive (romance) OR reply to Shannon (platonic)

It's kind of nice to have him around

You should stay for lunch

I wish I could have told you where I was

You are pretty bad at it

No, you can stay

Ask what Lana means by that

I am enjoying myself

CREATE SAVE POINT 4

Run

Keep on running

Steam achievement granted for continuing to run: "Filthy Mutant!"

I'll keep fighting

Message him now

I'm worried about you (romantic) OR I hope you're safe (platonic)

choose neither option; instead, click the window curtain

Steam achievement granted for clicking the curtain: "Clive? Are you there?"

I believe Clive has a genuine explanation

Meet with Clive

Steam achievement granted for meeting up with him: "Benefit of the Doubt"

I don't believe that

Clive Act Three

1 update will show up on your phone in the bottom right corner while in Lana's living room, check it

Touch his hand (romantic) OR Offer words of support (platonic)

I want to be closer to him (romantic) OR I do care about Clive (platonic)

Come back to the city with me

Steam achievement granted for inviting Clive to come with you: "Come With Me!"

Leave the topic alone for now

Cover him with a blanket

I like the way you are now (romantic) OR You already remind me of Kay (platonic)

Try to contact Jasper

Clive is more handsome than I thought (romantic) OR Why is he so self-conscious? (platonic)

Yes

Clive End Branch 1

1 update will show up on your phone in the bottom right corner after you got to take a nap, check it

Don't go (romantic) OR Be careful (platonic)

1 update will show up on your phone in the bottom right corner while on the beach with Clive and Gray, check it

Steam achievement granted for reaching Branch 1 ending: "My True Home"

RELOAD SAVE POINT 2

Clive Act Two - Guide to Branch 2

You don't need to hide in your hoodie

How long ago did you meet?

Ask him about it

...Little Red is eaten by the wolf

It sounds like fun

I'll take your word for it

Why did you bring me here?

...stalling to spend more time with me?

Let's run home quickly

Suggest continuing when the weather is clear

I'm willing to try it

1 update will show up on your phone in the bottom right corner after you get home from being with Clive, check it

Reply to Clive (romance) OR reply to Shannon (platonic)

It's kind of nice to have him around

You're leaving already?

I wonder what's up with the coincidences

No, you can stay

React by being flustered

Run

Turn to look

Steam achievement granted for turning to look: "Friends with the Enemy"

Clive was working with him

I want to find out the truth from Clive!

Message him now

I'm worried about you (romantic) OR I hope you're safe (platonic)

Maybe it was Lana's phone

I want to know his side of the story so far

We'll talk, but not in person

Some people aren't supposed to exist

Touch his hand (romantic) OR Offer words of support (platonic)

I want to be closer to him (romantic) OR I do care about Clive (platonic)

But you could still get hurt

What happened to him?

Steam achievement granted for asking what happened to him: "Nosey"

Cover him with a blanket

You can't replace Kay

Try to contact Jasper

Clive is more handsome than I thought (romantic) OR Why is he so self-conscious? (platonic)

No

Clive End Branch 2

1 update will show up on your phone in the bottom right corner while talking to Clive in your bedroom at night, check it

...I love you (romantic) OR ...you're my best friend (platonic)

Steam achievement granted for reaching Branch 2 ending: "Internal Consequences"

Bad Ending #1

RELOAD SAVE POINT 3

...Little Red is eaten by the wolf

It sounds like fun

You could word that a bit better

Why did you bring me here?

...afraid of storms?

Let's run home quickly

Wait until he invites you again

Reply to Clive

I think he's sticking a little too much

See you later, then

I wonder what's up with all the coincidences

Do whatever you want

Run

Keep on running

Steam achievement granted for reaching bad ending: "Deal with the Devil"

Bad Ending #2

RELOAD SAVE POINT 4

Run

Turn to look

Bad Ending #3

RELOAD SAVE POINT 1

Don't text her

I'm going to stay inside

It's terrifying

Ask her about it some more

Read her heart when the eye symbol appears

Keep it to yourself for now

Refuse to be friends with him

CREATE SAVE POINT 5

It'll be fine

I do prefer waffles, actually

Alright

Yes... I want to talk about it

Ask about his interests

Maybe I should give it a try someday

No I'm not

No way

find the feather in the bottom right of the beach

Grab his arm for support

I'm not happy

So... what shells did you find?

No way, let's have a rematch

I should plan my next move

...weird

I need to look eventually!

A latte

Well...

I don't really know

Make something up

I prefer you don't pry anymore

Go to the forest without hesitation

Leave

How did his heart end up this way?

I hope he's safe right now...

Sure

Don't give up

I still want him back!

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt

Maybe a little

You don't need to hide in your hoodie

Do you spent a lot of time with Clive?

Ask him about it

...Little Red is saved in the end

Isn't it too childish?

You could word that a bit better

Thanks for bringing me here

...afraid of storms?

Let's run home quickly

Wait until he invites you again

Reply to Shannon

It's kind of nice to have him around

You're leaving already?

I wish I could have told you where I was

You're embarrassing him

CREATE SAVE POINT 6

Leave it for another day

Steam achievement granted for reaching bad ending: "Quiet. At Last."

Bad Ending #4

RELOAD SAVE POINT 5

I don't trust him

Pancakes are great

I'd rather not

I don't want to talk about it

Walk in silence with him

Click the eye when it appears to read Clive's heart

I need to keep an eye on him

No I'm not

No way

find the feather in the bottom right of the screen

Get up on your own

I'm not happy

You can go home now, you know

I should plan my next move

...weird

Keep your eyes shut

Black coffee

Well...

I don't really know

Make something up

I prefer you don't pry anymore

Think it through

Click the eye when it appears to read Jasper's heart

Leave

I want to help Kay...

Can I really trust him after that?

I dunno...

Give up

But what will happen to Clive?

Steam achievement granted for reaching bad ending: "You did that wrong"

Bad Ending #5

RELOAD SAVE POINT 6

Go meet with him

Run

Keep on running

I'll keep fighting

CREATE SAVE POINT 7

Leave it here

Steam achievement granted for reaching bad ending: "Fool..."

Bad Ending #6

RELOAD SAVE POINT 7

Take it home with you

Wait it out a bit longer

I want to know his side of the story so far

CREATE SAVE POINT 8

We'll talk, but not in person

Some people aren't supposed to exist

Offer words of support

Clive has grown on me

You should leave town too

Say good night to him

You can't replace Kay

Don't do it achievement granted for reaching bad ending: "Poison"

Bad Ending #7

RELOAD SAVE POINT 8

Don't respond

[rosesareviolentlyread]

Bakery Box Boy: Bath Time

CW: mentions of punishment, physical harm, scars, modern slavery, memory alteration, self-blame, people talking negatively about the character, internalized hatred, I’m really bad at these I’m working on it, anxiety WC: 1316

IT CONTINUES I swear one of you asked me to tag you but I forgot who. Thanks again to @moose-teeth and @whumpywhumper for beta-reading. And we also located the post that inspire this!! so thanks @whumping-every-day for that wonderful answer!!

The warm water swirls around his - Jasper’s - hands as he moves them through the water, feeling the gentle push and pull. It’s steamy, a fog of vanilla and sweet wood that clings to him like the cold had. He worries it’ll ruin the beautiful wallpaper, the one covered in yellow flowers with dark green stems that look like they’re growing all over the wall. He doesn’t want to ruin the wallpaper. 

He doesn’t want to ruin things, not again.

But, nothing about this seems to be going right. The memory of coming out of the box still feels...foggy, like the air around him, a confusion that clings to his chest with the fear that he has done something wrong, with knowing he’s been bad. 847650 - Jasper his brain continues to correct - isn’t good. He can’t remember why, or how, but he knows. Not that he wasn’t good enough here, those blunders are still fresh. No, it’s a deeper certainty, that the core of who 847650 is, is mistake.

He knows because the things in his mind that he can grasp, they are only pain, and fear, and people yelling. Because he can see the thin tracery of lines that cover his arms, his legs. Because he can feel the way his bones crack when he stands. Because of the way skin pulls uncomfortably across his back that makes him scared to look. 

But his new owner, they’d….touched him. Not the way they did in the white rooms, in the places he wishes would fog over more. It had been gentle. Warm. Hands that rubbed circles into the frozen joints, wrapped them in blankets far too soft for something as torn and broken as him. She knew, he was sure, because the one thing he could clearly remember, was her face when he’d first opened his eyes. 

Horror. 

He is a terror, a horror, a thing made to be kept in a basement. That’s what the handlers have told him this time or the time before or sometime that blends into a forever of white rooms only punctuated with the pain of knowing he is bad in the way a belt or a cane or a whip or a hand hits him until he is beat beet-red.

Useless, can’t believe it’s back again.

What’d it do this time? Can’t believe they keep sending it out. Guess money is money.

How much longer you think it’ll last?

Who knows? This thing’s like a bad luck boomerang, can’t get rid of it

And 847650 knows they are right, in his bones. That nothing good happens around him. To him. It’s written on his skin, in the box he came in, in the way her face had looked. 

So, why had she touched him like that? Why is she letting him sit here, in this nice bath, that is using far too much warm water on him? Why does she only have nice soaps for him to use, ones that smell like sugar and sweetness and all the things he can barely remember beyond them being far too nice?

It feels so wrong, and he wants it to stop. He wants the shoe to drop, to kick his ribs, to crush his hand. 

Doesn’t he?

He isn’t made for flowered walls, for warm fireplaces and hand-knit blankets that smell musty and cozy with years of use worn into their threads, not threadbare but instead comfortable, secure in their place. 

He wants to be like that, to know where he belongs, to belong, but he is bad. Bad luck. And he knows there is no way he belonged somewhere like here, can’t, not for long. 

A knock on the door jumps him out of his thoughts, water almost sloshing onto the soft bathmat. 

One drop away from disaster.

“Sugar? I found some clothes for you. I think they might fit, you’re about the right size. I’ll just leave ‘em here on the edge of the counter. You just come on out when you’re ready, I’ll be in the kitchen.” He sees a hand slip a pile of fabric onto the edge of the counter before the door shuts again.

When he’s ready? 

A test. It must be. To see how quickly he can recover, get himself ready to learn. 

Even though the water soothes the ache in his limbs, he forces himself to pull the drain open, watching his solace slink down the drain. Grabbing the towel that is far too fluffy, he stands carefully in the tub, drying off before stepping out so to be sure to not slick the tile with water. 

The pile of clothes have the same slightly musty, stored smell of the blankets. He doesn’t mind it, feeling the soft, pliable fabric in his hands. It’s not stiff, like clothes he feels in the edges of his mind he’s worn before, that felt too wrong on his body, too perfect in every angle and shape. But they’re not full of holes that make his skin shiver with the memory of cold far worse than that of the box. It’s clothing that’s been lived in, been given a home, for longer than he can imagine.

He pulls on the white shirt, feeling it hang loose on his shoulders as he puts the thick flannel over top. The jeans, while thin, hang loose on his hips, until he has to tighten the belt to the second to last hand-worn notch just so they’ll stay up. But it’s all so warm and soft over his skin. The socks are luxurious, thick wool that helps him cling to the feeling of toes. Of being here, even as the fog in his brain still makes it hard to think, to remember. 

When you’re ready her voice echoes in his brain, and suddenly, he’s quickly folding the towel back onto its rack, and scrambling to the kitchen. He isn’t sure how long he stood there, fingers just trailing over the fabric on his skin, but he knows intimately it was too long. 

Jasper nearly slams into the wall as the sudden slick of socks on his feet causes him to slide down the hall, limbs flailing like a newborn fawn. He manages to recover, grabbing the doorway as his heart thumps in his ears in fear. 

Please, please let me to have been quick enough to be good

“Oh, there you are. I was starting to think you’d fallen asleep in there, was about to go check to see if you’d drowned.” His owner’s face is smiling, and she winks, but he can’t understand why. Clearly, he’d taken too long. Maybe she’s happy because it means she now has a reason to punish him, to start teaching him a lesson. Maybe because it proves that he isn’t good, just like she thought when she saw him. He ducks his head, feeling his shoulders stiffen and hoping maybe this punishment will at least be a bit lighter, since his bones still ache from the cold, muscles straining just to stay upright.

“I-I’m sorry I took so long Miss Della.” For no reason, dammit, he feels tears prick his eyes, and he forces them away. 

Crying ain’t gonna do you no good, little boy, the voice in his head taunts with the crackle of electricity in its anger.

“No worries, I like myself a good soak too. I’m sure after getting soaked in the cold it felt nice to do an ole switcheroo hmm? Why don’t we go sit by the fire, warm you up a bit more, and I’ll go over the ground rules and what not” Her face breaks out into a smile as she crosses to the living room, picking up a dark iron rod to stoke the fire.

Jasper reminds himself to follow, even as a spot on his hip screams about how red hot pokers feel on skin. 

[akindofmagictoo]

Talking about outlining with memes got me wondering - how do you like outlining and planning? Do you have a system? Does it vary story to story? Inquiring minds want to know! :-)

hello! thank you for the ask!

ok so if you head to this post you can hear about my outlining process on Hurricane (and I haven't written another outline for it since, so that holds)

this is what I have done for Dragonsong:

I think of it as "instructions to future me", otherwise known as "telling" the story with no showing. the length/proportions vary, but for example this:

Late the next morning, they’re all upright enough to eat around the building’s ground floor table where Aurelia and Jasper usually eat and cook etc. They’re all still on the tired side, to be fair, but they’re upright and eating. Cole is having some difficulty, but he’s still also upright, and he’s being helped.

became this:

Some of the exhaustion was gone from her. The others, too, seemed to be feeling better. They all managed to stagger down to the ground floor room where Aurelia and Jasper usually cooked and ate. None of them were in shape to fight anything, although Isi might have managed a very sluggish capybara.

As was to be expected, Cole was having some difficulties, but he was nonetheless upright and eating with some help, and Isi was glad of it. The food was hardly interesting, since Jasper didn’t usually have to cook for eight, but Isi was too hungry to care. Silence fell around the table as they ate instead of talking.

or this:

When Isi comes to, she’s in a room. And very confused. She sits up, which makes her head spin, and someone tells her to take it easy. She wants to know where she is; the voice (whose owner she can’t see yet) explains that she (and Jasper) heard the explosion and went to investigate. They found Sierra the only person upright and conscious, and even she looked the worse for wear, and brought them all in. So all of Isi’s friends are here too.

Sierra was not super keen on this but didn’t have much other choice.

Isi still wants to know where she is and who’s speaking. It turns out they’re in a town right near where they brought down the barrier spell, and she’s speaking with one of the town’s resident knights — a pretty recent posting in fact, who reveals she knows Isi (and calls her Tor Isadora). She’s on the small slight side, with pale blonde hair tied up in a bun, and introduces herself as Aurelia. (Does she have any kind of nickname?)

became this:

Isi opened her eyes to be greeted by a dark wood ceiling. She was in a room of some sort, lying in a… bed? This wasn’t where she’d been last she checked. What?

She sat up abruptly. Bedcovers slid off her. Her head spun.

“Be careful,” said a soft voice to her left.

The room was too dark to see the owner of the voice. Isi frowned. “Where am I?”

“Jasper and I heard the explosion and went to investigate. We found you and your friends and brought you back here.” The speaker paused, then continued, “Your friends are down the hall.”

The sheets under her fingers felt oddly familiar. Isi bunched the material into her hands. “Where am I? Who are you?”

“This is the birdhouse and knights’ quarters,” the voice continued.

Knights’ quarters. That was why something felt familiar. A match flared, then a wick. Isi flinched at the sudden brightness and shut her eyes. Slowly, she opened one eye, then the other.

Golden light now spread through the room, enough to see the speaker by. She was small and slight—if Isi had to guess, she would barely come up to her shoulder—with pale blonde hair tied into a bun. “I’m Tor Aurelia.” She smiled nervously. “And you’re Tor Isadora.”

my outline involves me talking to myself and being very casual. it often doesn't involve a lot of dialogue (unless I come up with a particularly top tier line), just the gist of the conversation. it depends on the scene and how clear an idea I have, but I will try and get some kind of thing down for every single scene. at minimum, a paragraph describing what goes down. some other sections get very long.

I also like to use a dashed list to add extra information that's kind of notes to myself that isn't quite relevant to write into the scene itself, but is important to know. (or stuff I don't know where to put)

in terms of process... I usually start with an inciting incident/concept and a handful of characters. for Dragonsong, it was the idea of a female knight choosing not to kill a baby dragon, and came with Isi, Robin and Enya. (not named, just concepts)

then I worked out Act 1 (up to Isi quitting her job), then kinda figured out the end... and then it was a mixture of worldbuilding and outlining, out of order, from there until I had everything I felt I needed!

(and now as I write I am creeping up on the climax... but battle plans are hard)